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“Great, fine, glad you’re beginning to take orders like a good solider. Tell Micah when he comes back that I’ll be at the Circus of the Damned.”

“I’ll go with you.” He was already getting to his feet. He was barefoot. But of course, because it was Caleb, he was wearing a toe ring.

I shook my head. “No, you are staying here, give my message to Micah.”

“Merle was pretty explicit. I am to stay near you today, all day.”

I frowned. I had the beginnings of an awful idea. “You’re positive that neither Micah nor Merle told you why they wanted you to be glued to my side today?”

He shook his head, but he looked worried. I wondered for the first time if Merle had done more than just “talk” to him.

“What did Merle say would happen if you didn’t stay close to me?”

“He said he’d cut all my piercings with a knife, especially the newest one.” His voice didn’t sound the least bit like teasing. He sounded tired.

“Newest one? The nipples?” I said, and made it half question.

“No.” He shook his head.

His hands went to the top of his jeans and the already partially unbuttoned line. He undid a second button.

I held up my hand. “Stop, that’s plenty. I get the idea. You’ve pierced something . . . there.”

“I thought, why not, I’ll heal in a matter of days instead of weeks, or months for a human.”

I wanted to ask, Didn’t it really hurt? But since silver burned a lycanthrope’s skin, you had to be masochistic to get anything pierced. I’d asked one of the other leopards that was pierced, why not use gold? Answer: their bodies grew over the gold, healing over the wound. But they didn’t heal over silver.

“Thanks for over-sharing there, Caleb.”

There was a shadow of his usual smile, but mostly his eyes looked worried, almost scared. “I’m trying to do what I was told to do, that’s all.”

I sighed. One thing I hadn’t expected was to feel sorry for Caleb. Damn it I didn’t need another person to take care of right now. I was having enough trouble taking care of myself. “Fine, but Nathaniel and I are taking Jason back to the Circus so he’ll be there in time for Jean-Claude to wake up.”

“I’ll go with you.”

I just looked at him.

The worry bloomed to outright fear. “Anita, please, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass, but I’ll be good. I won’t cause any trouble.”

Had Micah really sent Caleb here in case the ardeur rose early? I disliked Caleb, intensely; did Micah really think I’d use him like that? Of course, the first time I’d met Micah I’d fed off of him. It had also been the very first time the ardeur rose, and my control had been nonexistent. I was better now, but what I’d done with Jason proved not that much better.

I’d complain to Micah about his choice of baby-sitters later, and he’d probably argue, if not Caleb, then who? For that, I didn’t have a good answer. Hell, I didn’t even have a bad answer.

28

WHEN MORE WOLVES arrived from Richard’s pack, and the screams started, I left. He had a half dozen baby-sitters. He did not need me. Hell, he didn’t even want me.

I didn’t know what to do for Richard anymore. I could help the pack as a whole, but helping Richard seemed beyond me. He needed healing, and I didn’t know how to do that. If you needed someone killed, or threatened, or even hurt, I was your girl. I did self-defense, murder wasn’t beyond me in a good cause, but suicide, I did not do that. Richard had let himself grow cold, his energy sucked away, and he hadn’t called for help. That was suicide, passive suicide maybe, but the intent was the same.

Jason drove. He pointed out that I’d had weird physical reactions all day, and it would be bad to have one of the fainting spells behind the wheel of the car. I replied that I’d fixed the reason for the fainting spells by putting crosses at the Circus. He’d countered with the fact that we weren’t one hundred percent sure that was the only reason I’d been fainting. Wouldn’t caution be better? With that, I couldn’t argue. My pride was not worth crashing the Jeep with three other people in it. If it had only been my skin at stake I’d have probably taken