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“I think of him more like a child, no offense.”

“You think more like a parent than a seducer; that’s a good thing,” Stephen said. “Don’t apologize for it.”

Cherry joined us, kneeling on her heels, long body curved in graceful lines. “You called Raina in the lupanar without any lust, right?”

I nodded. “I can call Raina’s munin, sometimes even if I don’t want to, but she always demands a price before she leaves.”

“You didn’t seduce anyone at the lupanar tonight,” she said.

“No, but I damn near started a fight by hitting Richard, and that was part Raina’s doing. She enjoyed my loss of control, and . . . and she was worried about the pack tonight. She doesn’t like what Richard’s done. I think she toned down her demands because of that.”

“And she doesn’t care about us like she does the wolves.”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“What are you afraid of?” Stephen asked. “That you’ll molest Gregory.”

I shook my head. “No, I’m afraid Raina will.”

“You healed Nathaniel in the woods and didn’t do anything awful to him,” Cherry said.

“No, but I had Richard and the pack there to balance me, to help me control her through the marks. Without extra help in that area, Raina’s idea of payment can get a little messy.”

“Define messy,” Stephen said.

“Sex, violence—” I shrugged—“messy.”

“You have the pard here now,” Cherry said. “You can use us for balance.”

Truth was, without Micah here I wasn’t sure I could do that. Just as Richard was my door to the wolves, Micah was my door to the leopards. Or was he? I was treating this like I treated Richard and Jean-Claude, like I was the outsider and they were my ticket in. But what if I really was the leopard queen? If I really was Nimir-Ra, then I should be able to do this without Micah. I realized the moment I doubted that, I was still hoping I wasn’t going to be furry next full moon. No matter how much evidence to the contrary, I still didn’t believe it. Maybe I didn’t want to believe it. But I wanted to heal Gregory, that I did want.

I looked at them all and knew Cherry was right. If I was Nimir-Ra, then I had all I needed to balance me. If I wasn’t Nimir-Ra, then it wouldn’t work. What did we have to lose? I looked at Stephen and Gregory, their mirror faces, their frightened eyes, and knew exactly what we had to lose if I didn’t try.

I took the Uncle Mike’s sidekick holster complete with Firestar out of the front of my jeans and looked around. If I was going to be calling on the leopards, I didn’t want them having to worry about the gun. I motioned Claudia the wererat over. Since I was still kneeling, she towered over me, only two inches shorter than Dolph. I had to admit it was impressive, even more so because she was a woman.

I handed the holstered gun to her, and she took it. “Make sure no one gets shot with it.”

She frowned down at me. “You think someone is going to try and get the gun?”

“Me, maybe.”

The frown deepened. “I don’t understand.”

“Raina’s amused by violence. I don’t want to be carrying a gun when I call her munin.”

Claudia’s eyebrows raised. “You mean she’d try to get you to use it on someone?”

I nodded.

“She’s tried before?’

I nodded again. “In Tennessee when I was practicing with the munin, yeah.”

Claudia shook her head. “You didn’t seem that worried at the lupanar.”

“I can call her once and be okay, probably. But if I call her too often, too close together, it’s like she grows—” I hesitated—“stronger, or maybe I just get tired of fighting.”

“She was a bitch when she was alive,” Claudia said.

“Being dead hasn’t changed her much,” I added.

The tall woman shivered. “I’m glad the wererats don’t have anything like the munin. The thought of some entity inside me just creeps me out.”

“Me too,” I said.

She looked down at me, thoughtful now. “I’ll keep the gun safe. Is there anything else Igor and I can do to help?”

I tried to think of something, but only one thing came to mind. “If the leopards can’t control me, make sure I don’t hurt anyone.”

“How bad is this going to be?” she asked.

I shrugged. “Normally, I wouldn’t be this worried, but