Anna Karenina (Penguin) - Leo Tolstoy [184]
‘Maybe not,’ replied Vronsky.
‘You say maybe not,’ Serpukhovskoy went on, as if guessing his thoughts, ‘and I tell you certainly not. And that’s why I wanted to see you. You acted as you had to. I understand that, but you should not persevere. I’m only asking you for carte blanche. I’m not patronizing you ... Though why shouldn’t I patronize you? You’ve patronized me so many times! I hope our friendship stands above that. Yes,’ he said, smiling at him tenderly, like a woman. ‘Give me carte blanche, leave the regiment, and I’ll draw you in imperceptibly.’
‘But do understand, I don’t need anything,’ said Vronsky, ‘except that everything be the same as it has been.’
Serpukhovskoy got up and stood facing him.
‘You say everything should be as it has been. I understand what that means. But listen. We’re the same age. You may have known a greater number of women than I have,’ Serpukhovskoy’s smile and gestures told Vronsky that he need not be afraid, that he would touch the sore spot gently and carefully. ‘But I’m married, and believe me, knowing the one wife you love (as someone wrote), you know all women better than if you’d known thousands of them.’
‘We’re coming!’ Vronsky shouted to the officer who looked into the room to summon them to the regimental commander.
Now Vronsky wanted to listen to the end and learn what Serpukhovskoy was going to tell him.
‘And here is my opinion for you. Women are the main stumbling block in a man’s activity. It’s hard to love a woman and do anything. For this there exists one means of loving conveniently, without hindrance - that is marriage. How can I tell you, how can I tell you what I’m thinking,’said Serpukhovskoy, who liked comparisons, ‘wait, wait! Yes, it’s as if you’re carrying a fardeauab and doing something with your hands is only possible if the fardeau is tied to your back - and that is marriage. And I felt it once I got married. I suddenly had my hands free. But dragging this fardeau around without marriage - that will make your hands so full that you won’t be able to do anything. Look at Mazankov, at Krupov. They ruined their careers on account of women.’
‘What sort of women!’ said Vronsky, recalling the Frenchwoman and the actress with whom the two men mentioned had had affairs.
‘So much the worse. The firmer a woman’s position in society, the worse it is. It’s the same as not only dragging the fardeau around in your arms, but tearing it away from someone else.’
‘You’ve never loved,’ Vronsky said softly, gazing before him and thinking of Anna.
‘Maybe not. But remember what I’ve told you. And also: women are all more material than men. We make something enormous out of love, and they’re always terre-à-terre.’ac
‘Right away, right away!’ he said to a footman who came in. But the footman had not come to call them again, as he thought. The footman brought a note for Vronsky.
‘A man brought it from Princess Tverskoy.’
Vronsky unsealed the letter and flushed.
‘I have a headache, I’m going home,’ he said to Serpukhovskoy.
‘Good-bye, then. Do you give me carte blanche?’
‘We’ll talk later, I’ll look you up in Petersburg.’
XXII
It was past five o‘clock, and therefore, so as not to be late and at the same time not to take his own horses, which everyone knew, Vronsky took Yashvin’s hired cab and ordered the driver to go as fast as he could. The old four-seater coach was roomy. He sat in the corner, stretched his legs out on the front seat and fell to thinking.
The vague awareness of the clarity his affairs had been brought to, the vague recollection of the friendship and flattery of Serpukhovskoy, who considered him a necessary man, and, above all, the anticipation of the meeting - all united into one general, joyful feeling of life. This feeling was so strong that he smiled involuntarily. He put his feet down, placed one leg across the knee of the other and, taking it in his hand, felt the resilient calf, hurt the day before in his fall, and, leaning back, took several deep breaths.
‘Good, very good!’ he said to himself. Before, too, he had often experienced