Anna Karenina (Penguin) - Leo Tolstoy [361]
She made no reply and only looked at him. He went on:
‘And tomorrow a son will be born, my son, and by law he is a Karenin, he is heir neither to my name nor to my fortune, and however happy we may be in our family and however many children we may have, there will be no connection between me and them. They are Karenins. You can understand the burden and horror of this situation! I’ve tried to say it to Anna. It annoys her. She doesn’t understand, and I can’t say everything to her. Now look at it from the other side. I’m happy in her love, but I must be occupied. I have found an occupation, and I am proud of that occupation and consider it nobler than the occupations of my former comrades at court and in the service. And I certainly would never exchange it for what they do. I work here, staying put, and I’m happy, content, and we need nothing more for happiness. I love this activity. Cela n’est pas un pis-aller,cd on the contrary ...’
Darya Alexandrovna noticed that at this point of his explanation he became confused, and she did not quite understand this digression, but she sensed that once he had begun talking about his innermost attitudes, which he could not talk about with Anna, he would now say everything, and that the question of his activity on the estate belonged to the same compartment of innermost thoughts as the question of his relations with Anna.
‘And so, to continue,’ he said, recovering himself. ‘The main thing is that, as I work, I must be sure that my work will not die with me, that I will have heirs - and that is not the case. Imagine the situation of a man who knows beforehand that his children by the woman he loves will be not his but someone else’s, someone who hates them and does not want to know them. It’s terrible!’
He fell silent, obviously in great agitation.
‘Yes, of course, I understand that. But what can Anna do?’ asked Darya Alexandrovna.
‘Yes, that brings me to the point of what I’m saying,’ he said, making an effort to calm down. ‘Anna can do something, it depends on her ... A divorce is necessary even in order to petition the emperor for adoption. And that depends on Anna. Her husband agreed to a divorce - at that time your husband had it all but arranged. And even now, I know, he would not refuse. It would only take writing to him. His answer then was that if she expressed the wish, he would not refuse. Of course,’ he said gloomily, ‘this is one of those pharisaic cruelties that only such heartless men are capable of. He knows what torment any remembrance of him costs her, and, knowing her, he demands a letter from her. I understand that it torments her. But the reasons are so important that she must passer par-dessus toutes ces finesses de sentiment. Il y va du bonheur et de l‘existence d’Anne et de ses enfantsce I’m not speaking of myself, though it’s hard for me, very hard,’ he said, with a look as if he were threatening someone for making it so hard. ‘And so, Princess, I am shamelessly seizing upon you as an anchor of salvation. Help me to talk her into writing to him and demanding a divorce!’
‘Yes, of course,’ Darya Alexandrovna said pensively, vividly remembering her last meeting with Alexei Alexandrovich. ‘Yes, of course,’ she repeated resolutely, remembering Anna.
‘Use your influence on her, make her write to him. I don’t want to talk with her about it and almost cannot.’
‘Very well, I’ll talk with her. But how is it she doesn’t think of it herself?’ said Darya Alexandrovna, at the same time suddenly recalling for some reason Anna’s strange new habit of narrowing her eyes. And she remembered that Anna had narrowed her eyes precisely when it was a matter of the most intimate sides of life. ‘As if she narrows her eyes at her life in order not to see it all,’ thought Dolly. ‘I’ll be sure to talk with her, for my own sake and for hers,’ Darya Alexandrovna replied to his look of gratitude.
They got up and went towards the house.