Anne of Ingleside - L. M. Montgomery [106]
‘Time is kinder than we think,’ thought Anne. ‘It’s a dreadful mistake to cherish bitterness for years… hugging it to our hearts like a treasure. But I think the story of what happened at Peter Kirk’s funeral is one which Walter must never know. It was certainly no story for children.’
36
Rilla sat on the veranda steps at Ingleside with one knee crossed over the other… such adorable little fat brown knees!… very busy being unhappy. And if anyone asks why a petted little puss should be unhappy that inquirer must have forgotten her own childhood, when things that were the merest trifles to grown-ups were dark and dreadful tragedies to her. Rilla was lost in deeps of despair because Susan had told her she was going to bake one of her silver-and-gold cakes for the Orphanage social that evening and she, Rilla, must carry it to the church in the afternoon.
Don’t ask me why Rilla felt she would rather die than carry a cake through the village to the Glen St Mary Presbyterian Church. Tots get odd notions into their little pates at times, and somehow Rilla had got it into hers that it was a shameful and humiliating thing to be seen carrying a cake anywhere. Perhaps it was because, one day when she was only five, she had met old Tillie Pake carrying a cake down the street with all the little village boys yelping at her heels and making fun of her. Old Tillie lived down at the Harbour Mouth and was a very dirty, ragged old woman.
‘Old Tillie Pake
Up and stole a cake,
And it gave her stomach ache,’
chanted the boys.
To be classed with Tillie Pake was something Rilla just could not bear. The idea had become lodged in her mind that you just ‘couldn’t be a lady’ and carry cakes about. So this was why she sat disconsolately on the steps and the dear little mouth, with one front tooth missing, was without its usual smile. Instead of looking as if she understood what daffodils were thinking about or as if she shared with the golden rose a secret they alone knew, she looked like one crushed for ever. Even her big hazel eyes that almost shut up when she laughed were mournful and tormented, instead of being the usual pools of allurement. ‘It’s the fairies that have touched your eyes,’ Aunt Kitty MacAllister told her once. Her father vowed she was a born charmer and had smiled at Dr Parker half an hour after she was born. Rilla could, as yet, talk better with her eyes than her tongue, for she had a decided lisp. But she would grow out of that, she was growing fast. Last year Daddy had measured her by a rose-bush; this year it was the phlox; soon it would be the hollyhocks and she would be going to school. Rilla had been very happy and well contented with herself until this terrible announcement of Susan’s. Really, Rilla told the sky indignantly, Susan had no sense of shame. To be sure, Rilla pronounced it ‘thenth of thame’, but the lovely, soft-blue sky looked as if it understood.
Mummy and Daddy had gone to Charlottetown that morning and all the other children were in school, so Rilla and Susan were alone at Ingleside. Ordinarily Rilla would have been delighted under such circumstances. She was never lonely; she would have been glad to sit there on the steps or on her own particular mossy green stone in Rainbow Valley, with a fairy kitten or two for company, and spin fancies about everything she saw… the corner of the lawn that looked like a merry little band of butterflies… the poppies floating over the garden… that great fluffy cloud all alone in the sky… the big bumble bees booming over the nasturtiums… the honeysuckle that hung down to touch her red-brown curls with a yellow finger… the wind that blew… where did it blow to?… Cock Robin, who was back again and strutting importantly along the railing of the veranda, wondering why Rilla would not play with him… Rilla, who could think of nothing but the terrible fact that she must carry a cake, a cake, through the village to the church for the old social they were getting up for the orphans. Rilla was dimly aware that the