Another Life_ A Memoir of Other People - Michael Korda [5]
As the city burned and shook around me—the old streets seemed to heave with each detonation, as if rocked by earthquakes—I began to think about my future, if there was one, in clearer terms. A number of my illusions faded during the siege and fall of Budapest, some of them having to do with fear and courage, others to do with the future. It became clear to me in the harsh, cold, grubby, and dangerous reality of Budapest—the city to which Alex had come as an impoverished enfant terrible in 1908, and where he had directed his first movie in 1914—that Alex’s death had in fact meant the end of any easy way for me to enter the movie business. For the first time, I thought about that with relief. Why, after all, enter a business in which Alex and his brothers had succeeded beyond their wildest imaginations?
Given my interest in history, my father had hoped that I would teach it eventually, but having seen history in the making, I didn’t think that trying to make tidy sense of it would be the profession for me. In any case, I couldn’t see myself settling into a comfortable life as an Oxford don, even assuming I could improve my academic record enough to make such a career possible.
Had I nurtured any fantasies about working for the British intelligence services, they would have evaporated when I saw the Red Army in action. This particular fantasy was not as far-fetched as it sounds. This, after all, was in the years before an endless number of Oxford- or Cambridge-educated traitors were exposed, discrediting the idea of recruiting young men over a glass of sherry during tutorial sessions. Many an Oxford or Cambridge don was a talent scout for the spymasters, and those undergraduates who, like myself, were fluent in Russian and seemed to be on the right side of the class barrier were likely to receive a carefully phrased offer from one of them—I certainly had. (Oddly enough, an attempt had also been made to recruit me for the other side while I was in the RAF.)
I had no interest in the more traditional “professions”—law, medicine, et cetera—and recognized that I was not at all the type for a career in the British diplomatic services, nor for the stock market or banking—like my father and my uncles, I was interested in spending money, not in dealing with other people’s. There was always journalism, of course, but I had tried that during a brief spell with the Financial Times the summer before and hadn’t liked Fleet Street much. Besides, the British journalists in Budapest were for the most part a poor advertisement for their craft, hard drinking, given to reporting even the wildest and most shortlived of rumors as truth. They seemed to me straight out of the pages of Evelyn Waugh’s Scoop. “This is a second-rate profession,” one of them said to me glumly, as we sat drinking in a bar, surrounded by bits of broken glass and pieces of the chandelier, which an explosion had brought down from the ceiling. “I mean, what can you say in five hundred words or less about all this? Anyway, what they want back in London is human-interest stories. And who wants to go out into the bloody streets and risk getting shot just to find some poor sod of a freedom fighter who understands English well enough to ask him how it feels to be shot at?”
Who indeed? I said sympathetically. Still, it was a big story, surely, exactly the kind of thing people wanted to read about?
“Don’t you believe it. They want to read about pools winners and American film stars. This is foreign politics, that’s all. The moment these people have lost, they’ll be off the front page.”
Truer words, I was very soon to learn, were never spoken.
THE FACT was, as it was gradually beginning to dawn on me while I sleepwalked through the last few days of the revolution, I didn’t really