Anything but Normal - Melody Carlson [25]
“Not until I get married. And I don’t plan on getting married until I’m . . . at least thirty.”
“You don’t say.”
“Seriously.” Sophie shoved the paper back at her. “I don’t need this.”
“You didn’t need it before . . . before August?”
“No. I just should’ve stuck to my pledge.”
“Let me guess—you made an abstinence pledge?”
“A purity pledge.”
“Would you be surprised to hear that a lot of girls make and break that same pledge? And that a lot of girls end up sitting right where you are telling me the exact same story?”
“The exact same story?”
“Well, not exactly. But they don’t plan on having sex. They’re committed to wait until marriage. But then something happens. A boyfriend pressures them. They have an irrepressible urge. Even date rape.”
Sophie sat up straighter. She could feel tears coming on again.
“Then they’re pregnant. And scared and desperate.”
“Like me.”
“Yes.” She held out the prescription again. “You’re sure you don’t want this?”
“I’m positive.”
“It’s your choice.”
“My body. My choice.” Sophie heard the sarcasm in her voice.
“So you’re positive you want to terminate this pregnancy?” Sophie nodded, trying to appear confident. And trying to shut down that little voice that was inside of her, screaming, Stop! Stop! Stop this nonsense and get out of this place NOW!
“Because adoption is an option.”
“Not for me.” Sophie resisted the urge to cover her ears with her hands—not that it would make any difference, since the words she wanted to block were on the inside, not the outside.
“I understand.” Mary made a note on Sophie’s form, then looked up. “Do you have any questions about the procedure?”
“I read the brochures.” Okay, that was a lie. But then, wasn’t everything about her life a big fat lie now?
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Had she actually said those words aloud?
But Mary just nodded. “Good,” she said. “I’m glad you took the time.”
“So is that it then?”
Mary sighed. “I guess that’s it. Unless you have any questions.” She waited while Sophie tried to think of something to ask. “But if you don’t . . .”
“I don’t.” Sophie wanted to tell Mary to hurry it up, that if they waited one minute longer, it could be too late and that inner voice would have its way. Or else Sophie might lose her mind. Unless she’d already lost it.
“Okay then. I’ll pass this information on to the doctor. We’ll schedule you for a physical and—”
“Schedule me?”
“Yes. That’s how it works.”
“You mean I can’t have it today?” Sophie’s hands fisted so tightly that her nails dug into her palms.
“Well, you can check with the receptionist. They might be able to fit in a physical.”
“Just a physical? What about—what about the—the procedure?”
“The abortion?”
“Yes. I mean, I thought that I was going to have it today.” “Today?”
“Yes!” Sophie felt like she was falling, tumbling down into a pitch-black hole of hopelessness. “That’s why I came!”
“I understand your sense of urgency. Trust me, you’re not alone.”
“But I am alone.” Sophie was crying now.
“I know it’s an emotional time. But you need to be examined by the doctor, and he may want to do another pregnancy test just to be sure—”
Sophie’s legs were shaking as she stood up. “I need to go.”
“Don’t forget to make an appointment with the—”
“No.” Sophie’s voice was too loud. “Of course I won’t forget.” Then she walked out of Mary’s office and right past the receptionist’s desk. Without saying a word, she turned down the dark corridor and headed straight for the back door. She felt numb as she exited the building and got into her car.
As if on autopilot, she drove home, where she intended to simply lie down on her bed and just die. After all, she was partially dead already, right?
8
“Why’d you blow off yearbook committee yesterday?” Wes asked Sophie during journalism class.
“I had a dentist appointment.” Another lie. Not that she was counting anymore. But Sophie knew she wasn’t a good liar. She kept her eyes on the computer screen, pretending to be absorbed in her work as she made some final tweaks to the front page of next week’s paper.
“You could’ve told someone.