Anything but Normal - Melody Carlson [54]
The only problem was that to obey God meant she would have to tell the truth. She would have to confess to her family and everyone that she had blown it big-time. She would have to admit that she’d broken her purity pledge and that she’d lied to cover it up.
Yet, could admitting the truth be any worse than the lie she was living now? Humiliating, yes. But perhaps it would be a relief.
“Okay, God.” She took in a deep breath. “I want to obey you.” Once again she confessed—fully and without any reservation— what she’d done. Then she asked God to forgive her. And just like that, she knew he had forgiven her. She also knew that her work here had only begun. She couldn’t imagine how difficult it was going to be—certainly the hardest thing she’d ever done in her life. But she knew she had to do it.
“Please help me, God,” she prayed. “Help me to be brave and strong. Show me how to do it . . . and where to begin.” She took in one last, deep breath of cold night air, said, “Amen,” then hurried back to the warmth of her car.
As she drove toward home, she had no idea how she would begin to untangle the web of deceit she had woven, but she believed that with God’s help, she could do it. Once she’d truly owned up to her mistake, once she’d laid it at his feet, he’d forgiven her, just like he’d promised. She could feel it inside of her, like the horrible weight of it had been lifted. She knew that God still loved her and that he had fully forgiven her.
Now the big question was, would anyone else?
16
Maybe it was due to the town meeting and the subsequent media coverage. Or maybe it had to do with the Christmas season and a general feeling of goodwill toward men (and pregnant teens) among the community. In any case, not only did the attack against the pregnancy center mostly disintegrate, but people began volunteering to help out with it. Including, Sophie discovered a few days before Christmas break, her best friend’s mother.
“What are you doing here, Sophie?” Mrs. Vincent asked as they entered the center simultaneously.
Sophie took in a quick stabilizing breath and waited while Mrs. Vincent signed in on the visitors’ list. It had been almost a week since Sophie had made things right with God. Since that night, she had prayed to him many times a day and asked him to lead her on a daily basis. But so far she had confessed nothing to anyone. She had started to a couple of times, like once with Carrie Anne and another time with her mom, but for one reason or another, the timing seemed all wrong. Or maybe Sophie was just a big chicken.
Now, standing there in the pregnancy center with Carrie Anne’s mom looking at her with a questioning expression, Sophie felt not only uneasy but also desperate. What if Mrs. Vincent knew somehow? What if she was about to guess the real reason Sophie was there? “Uh, I was about to ask you the same thing, Mrs. Vincent.” Sophie took the pen from her. “Why are you here?”
“Carrie Anne may have told you that I used to be an RN.”
Sophie just nodded, turning away to sign herself in. Earlier in the week she’d made an appointment with Mrs. Manchester. She’d hoped to have been further along in her confession plan by now. She’d thought that Mrs. Manchester could give her some advice, perhaps even enlist her in the pregnancy program after the holidays—because Sophie doubted that she’d want to show her face in her regular classes by then. But how was she going to spill the beans with her best friend’s mother in the next room?
“Before we had kids,” Mrs. Vincent continued, “I worked in the maternity ward and taught birthing classes at the hospital, and since I have some spare time, I volunteered to teach the birthing class here next semester. I came today just to look around.”
“Really?” Sophie felt the blood rush to her face as she set down the pen. “You’ll be teaching here too?”
Mrs. Vincent smiled. “Yes. I thought you might appreciate hearing that. Now tell me,