Anything but Normal - Melody Carlson [65]
“You got that right. Midway. Some women say this is the most pleasant part of pregnancy.”
“Pleasant is not the word I’d use to describe any of this.”
The doctor smiled. “Any questions?”
Sophie twisted her mouth to one side. “Kind of.”
“Go for it.”
“Okay, I only had sex twice,” she said quietly. “It hurt a lot the first time. And the second time wasn’t much better.”
“Seems like a bum deal now, doesn’t it?”
Sophie rolled her eyes. “Tell me about it. But anyway, I’m just curious, if sex hurts that much, why is it so popular?”
The doctor laughed. “It usually hurts at the beginning. That’s normal. But eventually people figure out how things work. Otherwise I’d be out of business.”
Sophie knew her face was red, but at least she’d gotten a straight answer. Not that she ever planned to have sex again. “So, unless you have more questions, you can go ahead and get dressed, and the nurse will come draw some blood. And don’t forget to make another appointment on your way out. Merry Christmas!”
Sophie told the doctor “Merry Christmas” too, but all she could think was that this Christmas was going to be anything but merry at her house. Dad still wasn’t speaking to her. Although he’d quit hanging at his favorite bar, he now parked himself in front of the TV with several beers nearby. And he and Mom fought with regularity. Sophie knew it was all thanks to her. Mom said not to worry about it and that Dad was just being immature and selfish. But Sophie knew that it was only because she had been immature and selfish. That hurt.
The other thing that hurt was that Bart hadn’t responded to her email. And he hadn’t called her. Mom said it was because he was so busy with football and that he was distracted with playoffs. But Sophie thought she knew better.
As relieved as she was to be out of school—away from her “friends”—she couldn’t believe how each day, each hour, and each minute seemed to drag on. It felt as if God had reached down and turned time onto slow speed. Consequently she slept a lot. When she wasn’t sleeping, she was on pins and needles. She could only assume that Pastor Vincent had spoken to Dylan by now. Possibly his parents as well. What if Dylan called her? Or, worse, what if he came over to her house? Would she even answer the door? She really didn’t want to see him. Not alone. Really, not at all. It was easier to just pretend he had nothing to do with this. He was not part of the equation. Less significant than a sperm donor. An unwanted sperm donor.
As it turned out, Christmas wasn’t too terrible, although it was definitely strange. Sophie was relieved when the “festivities” were over and Bart headed back to school for his final playoff game. They’d had a brief conversation, and Bart admitted that he was disappointed in her but that he’d forgiven her. Still, she could tell things had changed between them. Like Dad, he was uncomfortable being around her. But at least Dad had started talking to her again. That was something. Not more than a few words at a time, and he continued to avoid her eyes as if he was not only uncomfortable but ashamed of her too. Why shouldn’t he be? Why shouldn’t everyone be ashamed of her?
Sophie knew she was depressed. But she tried not to show it when her family was around. She knew it was unfair to drag them down with her. So she did all she could to keep things light. She made jokes at her own expense and helped her mom with everything she could think of, but like everything else since her pregnancy, she just wanted the holidays to be over with. And if she could speed up the clock and the calendar, she would. Oh, she had no illusions that she’d ever have a normal life again, but the sooner this stage of her life passed, the happier she’d be. Although being “happy” seemed a bit of a stretch.
The highlight of the holidays was when Wes called on Christmas day. “How’s it going?” he asked with so much sympathy that she felt like crying.
“Well, imagine The Simpsons if Lisa got pregnant. That might just