Anything but Normal - Melody Carlson [71]
There was no chance that Sophie would attend her prom in early May. Despite Wes’s invitation, she had decided that being full-term pregnant in a prom dress was just too much for her. There was only so much humiliation a girl could handle.
Sophie hadn’t told anyone, including Wes, that it was her birthday. But on February 12, she turned eighteen. Old enough to vote, be in the armed forces, and have a baby. Oh yeah, a girl could have a baby at thirteen too. She knew this for a fact since a thirteen-year-old had just been admitted to the pregnancy center—the youngest girl there.
On her way to the cafeteria, Sophie felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She thought it was Wes, but to her surprise, it was Carrie Anne. “Happy birthday,” she said quietly.
“Hey, thanks.” Sophie smiled at her.
“How are you doing?”
“Okay.”
“Sophie?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Carrie Anne looked like she was close to tears.
“Sorry? For what?”
“For treating you the way I have. For being such a pathetic best friend.”
“It’s okay.” Sophie put her hand on Carrie Anne’s arm. “I know it’s not easy being friends with a knocked-up girl.”
“Well, God really convicted me,” Carrie Anne said. “I know I was wrong. But the truth was, it wasn’t just you being pregnant.”
Sophie nodded. “I kind of ruined your illusions about Dylan, right?”
“Yeah . . . but you’re right. They were illusions.” She lowered her voice. “And have you heard?”
“What?”
“He got another girl pregnant.”
Sophie blinked. “No way!”
Carrie Anne nodded. “I overheard my parents talking about it. I’m not supposed to know. Can you believe it?”
Sophie sighed. “Unfortunately I can.”
As the weather got warmer, Sophie got bigger. By late April, it seemed that every part of her body was screaming. Her ankles were swollen, her back hurt, her bladder was always too full, her breasts were bigger than ever, and the skin on her stomach resembled a road map with the new stretch marks that seemed to pop out daily.
“I wish you could just induce me,” she told Dr. Phillips.
“Don’t worry, Sophie, it shouldn’t be long now.”
“That depends on how you define long.” Sophie struggled to sit up. “Every day feels like it’s about seventy-two hours long now. And I haven’t slept a night in weeks.”
“Some people say that’s nature’s way of getting a mother ready for nightly feedings.”
“Well, that won’t be a problem for me,” Sophie assured her.
“So you’ve made up your mind.”
Sophie felt the baby kicking and rubbed her belly. “I was pretty sure all along,” she admitted. “But it’s still hard. Especially as the baby got bigger. Like she has a personality of her own and everything. Sometimes I can imagine being a mom, and I think I’ll be a good one—someday.”
“I think you will too.”
“But I think the kindest thing for the baby is to be in a loving home with two parents. I’ve been working with a good attorney, and I know the couple getting my baby is as good as it gets.”
“And how do you define that?”
“I know, it’s tricky,” Sophie said. “My parents are really great. They’ve actually been really great throughout the pregnancy. I mean, we had our moments, but mostly they’re cool. But the parents I picked for my baby have been trying to have kids for years. He’s a public defender, and she’s a freelance editor who works from her home. And they’re Christians.”
“Sounds like a good choice.”
“I think so.” Yet Sophie wasn’t sure. What if her child grew up and questioned why her mother had given her up? What if the parents weren’t all they seemed to be? What if their marriage was in trouble? What if, like some couples, they got pregnant after adopting and Sophie’s baby suddenly became like the redheaded stepchild?
Sophie knew she could ask “what ifs” until her brain burst, but it wouldn’t change anything. Mostly she could simply trust her instincts on this and pray.