Appointment in Samarra - John O'Hara [30]
None of your business.
Did you?
I m getting a little tired of this, said Caroline. So am I, said Julian. They rode for a while, and then he said: When are we going to have a kid?
I don t know. When are we? she said. No, seriously, when are we?
You know. The five years will be up soon.
The Five Year Plan, he said slowly. Well, maybe you’re right.
I know I m right. Look at these kids, Jeanie and Chuck. Married less than two years, hardly more than a year, and Jeanie may have to have false teeth. Mind you, false teeth, and do you remember her teeth? She had the loveliest strong white teeth I ever saw
Except yours.
Well, except mine. But hers were beautiful and just right. Smallish and nice and really sparkling. Mine are bigger, and they don t sparkle.
They dazzle me, he said. He snapped off the headlights. We’ll use your sparkling teeth for headlights.
Put the lights on, you fool, she said. No kidding, it s awful. She s only twenty-one. Just twenty-one, and she s absolutely a married woman. A married woman with a child. And
And a husband. And what a husband.
Exactly! said Caroline. Chuck. That little twirp Jeanie. Why, he isn’t good enough to ...
To what. Finish it.
No, I m not fooling. Chuck running around with that girl from Kresge s and the other day at bridge club Barbara Schultz spoke up and said, Well, I think someone ought to defend poor Chuck. Poor Chuck! She said, If Jeanie had taken the trouble to keep herself attractive, Chuck wouldn’t chase after other girls. Golly it made me mad. She must have read that somewhere. I didn’t say anything, and neither did anyone else, but you could see what everybody was thinking. Barbara s such a fool for letting herself in for that. Why, she did everything but handcuff Chuck to make him marry her.
She did? I didn’t know that. I knew they had dates, but I never thought
No? Well, here s something else you didn’t know. Mrs. Schultz was so sure Barbara was going to get Chuck that she made reservations for two for a trip around the world
Well, she and old Stinker went around the world.
Yes, but Mother told me that she was in Mr. Schultz s office when
God damn it to hell! said Julian. He stopped the car. Cross-link broke. I might as well fix it now while I m sober. He got out of the car and fixed the link. They did not speak to each other during the five-minute wait. Cars drove by and one or two stopped, recognizing Julian and the car, asking if they could help, but he sent them on. He started the car again. Hyuh, baby, he said. What were we talking about? Had we finished with Chuck?
Mm.
What s the mattah, honey sugah lamb pie, what s the mattah you all?
Listen, Ju. Listen to me, will you?
Listen to you? Why, Mrs. English, one of the most attractive features of the Cadillac is the minimum of noise in the motor. Just let me show
No. Don t be funny.
What s the matter? Did I do something wrong? Did I say something? Christ, I thought we were getting along fine.
We were, but something you said worried me. See, you don t even remember saying it.
Well, come on. Out with it, dearie. What did I say?
When you stopped the car. When you got out to fix the chain, you said something about you were going to fix it now, while you were sober.
Oh, he said. As if
I get it. You don t have to draw a map.
Now you’re annoyed. Aren t you?
No. Yes, slightly. I don t know. What the hell. I don t blame you.
I m sorry, darling. I don t want to be a wet towel or anything, but I couldn’t go through another half hour like that last night I d rather die.
I know. I m terribly sorry, Callie. I won’t get drunk.
Please don t, she said. Please. And I ll do anything. Let s get through these holidays without any more mess or jam or anything. I don t want to give you a pep talk
I know you don t. I don t blame you.
You’re my sweet Ju and I love you. I don t mean don t drink. You know.
Uh-huh. I promise.
No, don t promise.