Around the World in 80 Dinners - Bill Jamison [95]
Patty says, “Let’s do something relaxing. I know just the thing, a head massage.”
“What on earth is that?” Bill asks.
“Come see.”
Vicky backs off after an afternoon of translating, an exhausting job, but Simin joins us again. Ziggy, apparently used to going all kinds of places, drives us to a slick, contemporary hair salon. The five of us sit down side by side, and different masseuses deal with each of us simultaneously, shampooing our hair thoroughly while massaging our scalps, necks, shoulders, and arms for about forty-five minutes. Patty encourages the two of us to get a trim, too, if we want, and since both of us are getting shaggy, we do. It’s easily the least likely spot where either of us has ever had a haircut.
“There’s more in the neighborhood for Cheryl and Simin,” Patty says. “The boys can wait with Ziggy.” She takes the ladies down the street to a shop called Happy 2000, her favorite girly tchotchke store, loaded with Hello Kitty, Mickey Mouse, and Winnie the Pooh toys plus an international array of makeup products, accessories, and hair doodads.
Cheryl tells the guys, “Most of the merchandise is cutesy, sweet, and plain fun. Our granddaughters would love it.”
Back at the Olivers’ home, the two of us wash our laundry in a machine—a Little Swan—for the first time on the trip, and hang it out to dry on the balcony like everyone does in the neighborhood. John fries Mrs. Wu’s turnip cake for a light supper, getting it extra crispy as she instructed. It comes out luscious, crusty on the surface and as creamy inside as a good gratin. While he plates the treat, we discuss a dish for us to demonstrate at the TV station. “We’ve got to keep the ingredients and kitchen tool requirements simple,” Cheryl says. “Most American TV stations are poorly equipped for cooking demos, and who knows what we’ll run into here.” One or another of us brings up gumbo, crab cakes, Texas chili, succotash, and apple pie, but all seem to present possible problems.
Finally, Patty suggests southwestern salsa. “They can easily get the ingredients, you won’t need much more than a knife, and you can show it served both as a dip and as a sauce for a steamed fish.”
“Good idea,” Cheryl says. “That’s perfect.”
The next morning, Vicky calls John early. “Last night the TV chef came up with a different plan for the show. Now the producer wants us to gather at the Shengle Hotel, that fancy businessmen’s and dignitaries’ hotel between Chaozhou and Shantou.” None of us knows any more than that before we arrive. On the way, Vicky tells us about the “Eating Is Everything” star, Chef Fang Shu Guang. “He’s the most respected authority anywhere on our local cooking, famous in Chaozhou and Hong Kong, too. He has a very popular and expensive restaurant, with a name that translates in English as ‘Tasty and Happy.’”
Two Mr. Lins greet us in the hotel lobby, the second the head of the TV station. Vicky proudly admits her name is Lin as well. The male Lins usher us into the employee-only inner recesses of the hotel to a corridor leading to the kitchen. Inside, three dozen cooks look up briefly at our group as we enter, and then return their rapt attention to Chef Fang, presiding over an enormous prep table. The producer introduces all of us to the Emeril of Chaozhou, causing Vicky to get as flushed as a schoolgirl meeting Bobby Flay. Through her, Fang tells us, “Since you have come from halfway around the world to enjoy Chaozhou food, I’m going to prepare you a proper banquet.” He then presents the hotel’s executive chef, Su Pei Ming, who has brought in his entire staff to help in the effort and learn from the master.
Fang says he has looked at a map of the United States and knows that New Mexico is a large state. “How many people live there?”
“Less than the population of Chaozhou,” Bill says.
When Vicky translates this, everyone in the room acts astonished. She pauses herself, thinking about the facts, and asks with