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By Root 364 0

up into the cold light of reality. Within minutes, Michael’s illusions about his father, his importance in the company, and his future were shattered. First he learns, publicly and with no explanation, that his mother, who as far as he knows doesn’t even work for the company, bypassed him as partner. Moments later, he learns that his father has obviously been involved in some pretty bad stuff, as he is hauled away in handcuffs. Michael is shocked but quickly makes the decision to face reality. Now, he says, he really sees the world clearly. Now he knows the score. He will not return to the cave. He will go out and make a life for himself and his son in Phoenix, far away from his cave-dwelling relatives.

The remaining Bluths see things differently, however. From their vantage point in the cave, Michael looks like a fool. Where does he think he’s going? In fact, Lucille “would rather be dead in California than alive in Arizona!” So, the family stages an intervention (which sounds more like an imposition). Michael, though, is already out of the cave. His eyes have adjusted to the sun, and he realizes that what he’s done doesn’t call for an intervention (I’d love to call it an imposition). Those in the cave and those who have emerged literally see things differently. Both prefer to remain where they are, and think those who do otherwise have made a huge mistake. This disagreement about how to live is clear throughout the series. Michael frequently criticizes his family’s behavior, urging them to think about their lives and behave differently. Of course, this makes them angry and resentful (Lucille tells Michael that he is her second least favorite child, and Gob repeatedly calls him a robot . . . “the boy who couldn’t cry”). Both sides think they’re right, but Socrates’s point is that only those who have emerged from the cave are in a position to make a call about which life is better. Socrates’s claim is that a life of self-reflection and the critical search for truth is a better life, and will lead to more happiness. But let’s take a look at the Bluths to see if the wisdom of Socrates can be confirmed.

Michael: “The Good One, the Moral One, the Fool.”

Socrates would predict that Michael would be the happiest Bluth. After all, Michael is the member of the Bluth family who has most clearly emerged from the cave. He pokes his head back in sometimes to talk to his loved ones who still live there, and sometimes his perception of reality gets confused, but Michael tries to live a just, thoughtful life. He thinks critically about his actions and is aware of the fact that his behavior sometimes falls short of his own ideals. When this happens, he doesn’t brush it aside, instead he reflects and considers how to behave better in the future. When Michael realizes that much of his dislike for Ann (George Michael’s bland girlfriend) stems from jealousy over his son’s affection, Michael takes steps to accept her as a part of his son’s life.10 Michael thinks this is the right thing to do, but he also sees this type of reflective life, of striving to know and better oneself, as the path to happiness. After getting to know Ann, however, Michael faces a sad truth—he really doesn’t like her. Michael bravely faces the reality many parents face—he just doesn’t like the person his son has chosen to date. Michael embraces the truth and is left disappointed.

The situation with Ann doesn’t look like a fluke either. It looks as if Michael’s level of happiness is proportionate to his level of self-deception. When is he saddest? When he sees reality most clearly; when Michael realizes that George Michael prefers to hang out with “Egg” over bikeriding with his dad. When he realizes (repeatedly) that his father doesn’t trust him and continues to deceive him. When he’s the only attendee at his mom’s surprise party (twice). When he learns he is about to marry an MR F. When is Michael the happiest? When he is violating his own moral code by doing things he thinks he shouldn’t. This usually involves sex with a forbidden partner—his brother’s