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and it epitomizes the danger of basing morality on experience. On Kant’s view, jealously grows from parents’ attempts to teach their children to be good by comparing them to other children. Comparing children to other children fails to teach them the moral law; children are just taught to be better than each other. Moreover, since everyone can’t be better than everyone else, a jealous rivalry requires a loser. Ultimately, jealously may lead to envy and grudges, which can be even more destructive. When we’re compared to someone else and come up short, we have two options: try to become like them, or try to bring them down to our level. As Kant says, “It is easier to depreciate another than to emulate him, and men prefer the easier course.”4 Thus, the intent to make one’s children good may ultimately backfire, turning the kids into Gob.

Gob epitomizes the problems with jealousy. He’s constantly competing with his siblings, especially Michael, trying to prove his superiority. Gob tries to seduce Michael’s girlfriends, but always misses the mark. Where Michael dates Ms. Baerly in “Shock and Aww,” Gob gives new meaning to “having” the civics teacher, Mrs. Whitehead. He even tries to have a “holy trinity” with Bland, I mean . . . Ann. When he runs the company (into the ground), he constantly draws attention to the cost of his suits as a way to put others down (C’mon!). He tries to shoplift clothes from Lindsay’s store (where she says she’s shoplifting) just to show he’s the “real magician” of the family. He is, of course, busted by a thirteen-year old on Take-Your-Daughter-to-Work Day. Gob’s jealousy, though dangerous, is ultimately only a danger to himself—a “burning bush” of envy that consumes him without harming others.

Think of the Children

When no one’s looking, who’s always there to deceive? To act her way into the spotlight? Maeby Fünke, the daughter of Lindsay and Tobias, constantly works to get noticed. In “Justice Is Blind,” Maeby creates the alter-ego Shirley, an alleged cousin who suffers from B.S., a disease that has made the poor, imaginary schoolgirl wheelchair-bound. Maeby also fakes her way into a career as a high-powered movie executive, where people complete her homework and fetch her coffee. Maeby works tirelessly to create strife and gain attention within her family. When her mother flirts with Steve Holt (!), Maeby gives Lindsay a shirt that says Shémale, making Lindsay unwittingly announce that she’s transgendered (a “fact” that Maeby has already told Steve). In the pilot, Maeby tries to get attention by making out with her cousin, George Michael. When this fails, Maeby gives it up as a bad idea and moves on to other schemes.

In short, Maeby is all about deceptive behavior. She tries to manipulate those around her by making her actions seem innocent and pretending to be something she’s not (“Marry me!”). The only person who is on to her schemes is George Michael, who developed a crush on Maeby after they kissed. When told not to do something, she’s the first to do it. In the episode “Best Man for the Gob,” Maeby rejoins Dr. Fünke’s 100% Natural Good-Time Family Band Solution after she realizes that her mother doesn’t want to join. Like her mother, Lindsay, Maeby craves attention and is willing to manipulate others to get it. Unlike her mother, she tries to appear ethical while being immoral. She tries to set herself apart from the Bluths so as to gain attention—but her actions reveal she’s much more part of the family than she thinks.

“I’m Not Sure if My Ethics Teacher Would Love It if I Cheated on My Essay”5

With George Michael, things become more complicated. Like his father, he wants to do the right thing. Being ethical matters to him—yet somehow, he always gets caught up in others’ plots and schemes. One factor is clearly his desire to be part of the family and to be accepted. So how does a character who seeks to be ethical become such a gullible sap?

One criticism of Kant’s ethics has been the abstraction of the moral law. The necessity of the categorical imperative is tied