Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer [40]
Suddenly there was a barrel under his chin. One of Retrieval had managed to get his weapon cocked.
“Freeze, Mud Boy,” droned a helmet-filtered voice. It was a serious-looking gun, liquid coolant bubbled along its length. “Just give me a reason.”
Butler rolled his eyes. Different race, same macho clichés. He slapped the fairy open-handed. To the little man it must have been like the sky falling on his head.
“That reason enough for you?”
Butler scrambled to his feet. Fairy bodies were scattered around him in various stages of shock and unconsciousness. Scared definitely. Dead, probably not. Mission accomplished.
One little guy was faking, though. You could tell by the way his tiny knees knocked together. Butler picked him up by the neck, finger and thumb easily meeting around the back.
“Name?”
“G-Grub . . . er, I mean Corporal Kelp.”
“Well, Corporal, you tell your commander that the next time I see armed forces coming in here, they’ll be picked off by sniper fire. No darts either. Armor-piercing bullets.”
“Yessir. Sniper fire. Got it. Seems fair.”
“Good. You are, however, permitted to remove your injured.”
“Most generous of you.”
“But if I see so much as the twinkle of a weapon on any of the medics, I might be tempted to detonate a few of the mines I have planted in the grounds.”
Grub swallowed, his pallor increasing behind the visor.
“Unarmed medics. Crystal clear.”
Butler set the fairy down, brushing his tunic with massive fingers.
“Now. Final thing. Listening?”
Furious nods.
“I want a negotiator. Someone who can make decisions. Not some no-ranker who has to run off back to base after every demand. Understood?”
“Fine. That is, I’m sure it will be fine. Unfortunately I’m one of those no-rankers. So, you see, I can’t actually guarantee it will be fine. . . .”
Butler was sorely tempted to drop-kick this little fellow back to his camp.
“Very well. I understand. Just . . . shut up!”
Grub almost agreed, then he clamped his mouth shut and nodded.
“Good. Now, before you go, collect all weapons and helmets and make a little pile right there.”
Grub took a deep breath. Ah well, may as well go out a hero.
“I can’t do that.”
“Oh, really? And why not?”
Grub drew himself up to his full height. “An LEP officer never relinquishes his weapon.”
Butler nodded. “Fair enough. Thought I’d ask. Off you go then.”
Hardly able to believe his luck, Grub scurried back toward the command tower. He was the last fairy standing. Trouble was snoring in the gravel but he, Grub Kelp, had faced down the Mud Monster. Wait until Mommy heard about this.
Holly sat on the edge of her bed, fingers curled around the metal base. She lifted slowly, taking the weight on her arms. The strain threatened to pop her elbows from their sockets. She held it for a second, and then slammed the frame into the concrete. A satisfying cloud of dust and splinters swirled around her knees.
“Good,” she grunted.
Holly eyed the camera. Doubtless they were watching her. No time to waste. She flexed her fingers, repeating the maneuver again and again, until the steel base left deep welts in her finger joints. With each impact more and more splinters popped from the fresh floor.
After several moments, the cell door burst open and Juliet fell into the room.
“What are you doing?” she panted. “Trying to knock the house down?”
“I’m hungry!” shouted Holly. “And I’m fed up of waving at that stupid camera. Don’t you feed your prisoners around here? I want some food!”
Juliet’s fingers curled into a fist. Artemis had warned her to be civil, but there was a limit.
“No need to get your pant . . . or whatever in a twist. So what do you fairies eat?”
“Got any dolphin?” Holly asked sarcastically.
Juliet shuddered. “No, I don’t, you beast!”
“Fruit then. Or vegetables. Make sure they’re washed. I don’t want any of your chemical poisons in my blood.”
“Ha ha, what a riot you are. Don’t worry, all