Artemis Fowl - Eoin Colfer [55]
Juliet punched the combination into the keypad. “And no, I don’t have your vegetables, or your washed fruit. But it’s not my fault, Artemis in-sis-ted I come right down. . . .”
Juliet stopped talking, because there was nobody listening. She was preaching to an empty room. She waited for her brain to pass on an explanation. Nothing came. Eventually the notion to take another look filtered down.
She took a tentative step into the concrete cube. Nothing. Only a slight shimmering in the shadows. Like a mist. It was probably these stupid glasses. How were you supposed to see anything wearing mirrored sunglasses underground? And they were so nineties, they weren’t even retro yet.
Juliet glanced guiltily at the monitor. Just a quick peek, what harm could it do? She whipped up the frames, sending her eyeballs spinning around the room.
In that instant a figure materialized before her. Just stepped out of the air. It was Holly. She was smiling.
“Oh, it’s you. How did you—”
The fairy interrupted with a wave of her hand.
“Why don’t you take off those glasses, Juliet? They really don’t suit you.”
She’s right, thought Juliet. And what a lovely voice. Like a choir all on its own. How could you argue with a voice like that?
“Sure. Caveman glasses off. Cool voice, by the way. Do re mi and all that.”
Holly decided not to try deciphering Juliet’s comments. It was hard enough when the girl was in full control of her brain.
“Now. A simple question.”
“No problem.” What a great idea.
“How many people in the house?”
Juliet thought. One and one and one.
And another one? No, Mrs. Fowl wasn’t there.
“Three,” she said finally. “Me and Butler and, of course, Artemis. Mrs. Fowl was here, but she went bye-bye, then she went bye-bye.”
Juliet giggled. She’d made a joke. A good one too.
Holly drew a breath to ask for clarification, then thought better of it. A mistake, as it turned out.
“Has anyone else been here? Anyone like me?”
Juliet chewed her lip. “There was one little man. In a uniform like yours. Not cute, though. Not one bit. Just shouted and smoked a smelly cigar. Terrible complexion. Red as a tomato.”
Holly almost smiled. Root had come himself. No doubt the negotiations had been disastrous.
“No one else?”
“Not that I know of. If you see that man again, tell him to lay off the red meat. He’s just a coronary waiting to happen.”
Holly swallowed a grin. Juliet was the only human she knew who was probably more lucid under the mesmer.
“Okay. I’ll tell him. Now, Juliet, I want you to stay in my room, and no matter what you hear, don’t come out.”
Juliet frowned. “This room? It’s so boring. No TV or anything. Can’t I go up to the lounge?”
“No. You have to stay here. Anyway, they’ve just installed a wall television. Cinema size. Wrestling, twenty-four hours a day.”
Juliet almost fainted with pleasure. She ran into the cell, gasping as her imagination supplied the pictures.
Holly shook her head. Well, she thought, at least one of us is happy.
Mulch gave his rear end a shake to dislodge any clumps of earth. If only his mother could see him now, spraying mud on the Mud People. That was irony, or something like it. Mulch had never been big on vocabulary in school. That or poetry. He’d never seen the point. Down the mines, there were only two phrases of any importance: “Look, gold!” and “Cave-in, everybody out!” No hidden meanings there, or rhymes.
The dwarf buttoned his back flap, which had been blasted open by the gale emanating from his nether regions. Time to make a run for it. Whatever hope he’d had of escaping undiscovered had been blown. Literally.
Mulch retrieved his earpiece, screwing it firmly into his ear. Well, you never knew, even the LEP might prove useful.
“. . . And when I get my hands on you, convict, you’ll wish you stayed down those mines . . .”
Mulch sighed. Ah well. Nothing new there then.
Clasping the safe’s treasure tightly in his fist, the dwarf turned to retrace his steps. To his utter amazement there was a human entangled in