Artemis Fowl_ The Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer [18]
Butler opened the driver’s door and, after a moment, slipped into the seat.
Artemis folded his phone into its wallet. ‘Captain Short, I presume. Why don’t you stop vibrating and settle into the visible spectrum?’
Holly speckled into view. There was a gleaming gun in her hand. Guess where it was pointed.
‘Really, Holly, is that necessary?’
Holly snorted. ‘Well, let’s see. Kidnapping, actual bodily harm, extortion, conspiracy to commit murder. I’d say it’s necessary.’
‘Please, Captain Short,’ said Artemis, with a smile, ‘I was young and selfish. Believe it or not, I do harbour some doubts over that particular venture.’
‘Not enough doubts to return the gold?’
‘No,’ admitted Artemis. ‘Not quite.’
‘How did you know I was here?’
Artemis steepled his fingers. ‘There were several clues. One, Butler did not conduct his usual bomb check under the car. Two, he returned without the items he went to fetch. Three, the door was left open for several seconds, something no good security man would permit. And four, I detected a slight haze as you entered the vehicle. Elementary really.’
Holly scowled. ‘Observant little Mud Boy, aren’t you?’
‘I try. Now, Captain Short, if you would be so kind as to tell me why you are here.’
‘As if you don’t know.’
Artemis thought for a moment. ‘Interesting. I would guess that something has happened. Obviously something that I am being held responsible for.’ He raised an eyebrow fractionally. An intense expression of emotion for Artemis Fowl. ‘There are humans trading with the People.’
‘Very impressive,’ said Holly. ‘Or it would be if we didn’t both know that you’re behind it. And if we can’t get the truth out of you, I’m sure your computer files will prove most revealing.’
Artemis closed the laptop’s lid. ‘Captain. I realize there is no love lost between us, but I don’t have time for this now. It is imperative that you give me a few days to sort out my affairs.’
‘No can do, Fowl. There are a few people below ground who would like a word.’
Artemis shrugged. ‘I suppose after what I did, I can’t really expect any consideration.’
‘That’s right. You can’t.’
‘Well then,’ sighed Artemis. ‘I don’t suppose I have a choice.’
Holly smiled. ‘That’s right, Fowl, you don’t.’
‘Shall we go?’ Artemis’s tone was meek, but his brain was sparking off ideas. Maybe co-operating with the fairies wasn’t such a bad idea. They had certain abilities after all.
‘Why not?’ Holly turned to Butler. ‘Drive south. Stay on the back roads.’
‘Tara, I presume. I often wondered where exactly the entrance to E1 was.’
‘Keep wondering, Mud Boy,’ muttered Holly. ‘Now, sleep. All this deduction is wearing me out.’
CHAPTER 4: FOWL IS FAIR
DETENTiON CELL 4, POLiCE PLAZA, HAVEN CiTY, THE LOWER ELEMENTS
ARTEMIS woke in the LEP interrogation room. He could have been in any police interview room in the world. Same uncomfortable furniture, same old routine.
Root jumped right in. ‘OK, Fowl, start talking.’
Artemis took a moment to get his bearings. Holly and Root were facing him across a low plastic-topped table. A high-watt bulb shone directly into his face.
‘Really, Commander. Is this it? I expected more.’
‘Oh there’s more. Just not for criminals like you.’
Artemis noted that his hands were shackled to the chair.
‘You’re not still upset about last year, are you? After all, I won. That is supposed to be that, according to your own Book.’
Root leaned forward until the tip of his cigar was centimetres from Artemis’s nose. ‘This is an entirely different case, Mud Boy. So don’t give me the innocent act.’
Artemis was unperturbed. ‘Which one are you? Good Cop or Bad Cop?’
Root laughed heartily, the tip of his cigar drawing patterns in the air. ‘Good Cop, Bad Cop! Hate to tell you this, Dorothy, but you ain’t in Kansas any more.’ The commander loved quoting The Wizard of Oz. Three of his cousins were in the movie.
A figure emerged from the shadows. It had a tail, four legs, two arms and was holding what looked like a pair of common kitchen plungers.
‘OK, Mud Boy,’ said the figure. ‘Just relax