Artemis Fowl_ The Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer [32]
When Opal found him, he was pumping shells from his prized Softnose Redboy into a 3D holoscreen running one of Root’s old training films. It was pathetic really; a fact she didn’t bother mentioning.
Cudgeon twisted out his earplugs. ‘So. Who died?’
Opal handed him a video pad. ‘This just came in on the spy cameras. Carrére proved as inept as usual. Everyone survived but, as you predicted, Root has called off the alert. And now the commander has agreed to personally escort the humans to northern Russia, inside the Arctic Circle.’
‘I know where northern Russia is,’ Cudgeon snapped. He paused, stroking his bubbled forehead thoughtfully for several moments. ‘This could turn out to our advantage. Now we have the perfect opportunity to eliminate the commander. With Julius out of the way, the LEP will be like a headless stink worm. Especially with their surface communications down. Their communications are down I take it?’
‘Of course,’ replied Opal. ‘The jammer is linked into the chute sensors. All interference with surface transmitters will be blamed on the magma flares.’
‘Perfect,’ said Cudgeon, his mouth twitching in what could almost be described as glee. ‘I want you to disable all LEP weaponry now. No need to give Julius any advantages.’
When Koboi Laboratories had upgraded LEP weapons and transport, a tiny dot of solder had been included in each device. The solder was actually a mercury / glycerine solution that would detonate when a signal of the appropriate frequency was broadcast from the Koboi communications dish. LEP blasters would be useless, while the B’ wa Kell would be armed to the teeth with Softnose lasers.
‘Consider it done,’ said Opal. ‘Are you certain Root won’t be returning? He could upset our entire plan.’
Cudgeon polished the Redboy on the leg of his uniform. ‘Don’t fret, my dear. Julius won’t be coming back. Now that I know where he’s going, I’ll arrange for a little welcome party. I’m certain our scaly friends will be only too eager to oblige.’
The funny thing was that Briar Cudgeon didn’t even like goblins. In fact, he detested them. They made his skin crawl with their reptilian ways. Their gas-burner breath, their lidless eyes and their constantly darting forked tongues.
But they did supply a certain something that Cudgeon needed: dumb muscle.
For centuries, the B’ wa Kell triad had skulked around Haven’s borders, vandalizing what they couldn’t steal and fleecing any tourists stupid enough to stray off the beaten path. But they were never really any threat to society. Whenever they got too cheeky, Commander Root would send a team into the tunnels to flush out the culprits.
One evening, a disguised Briar Cudgeon strolled into The Second Skin, a notorious B’ wa Kell hang-out, plonked an attaché case of gold ingots on the bar and said, ‘I want to talk to the triad.’
Cudgeon was searched and blindfolded by several of the club’s bouncers. When the tape came off his face, he was in a damp warehouse, walls lined with creeping moss. Three elderly goblins were seated across the table from him. He recognized them from their mugshots. Scalene, Sputa and Phlebum. The triad old guard.
The gift of gold, and the promise of more, were enough to pique their curiosity. His first utterance was carefully planned.
‘Ah, Generals, I am honoured you greet me in person.’
The goblins puffed out their wrinkled old chests proudly. Generals?
The rest of Cudgeon’s patter was equally smooth. He could ‘help’ organize the B’ wa Kell, streamline it and, most importantly, arm it. Then, when the time was right, they would rise up and overthrow the Council and their lackeys, the LEP. Cudgeon promised that his first act as Governor General would be to free all the goblin prisoners in Howler’s Peak. It didn’t hurt that he subtly laced his speech with hints of the hypnotic mesmer.
It was an offer the goblins could not refuse. Gold, weapons, freedom for their brothers and, of course, a chance to crush the hated LEP. It never occurred to the B’ wa Kell that Cudgeon could betray them just as easily as he had the