Artemis Fowl_ The Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer [41]
‘Fowl! Open the door, you pasty-faced Mud Weasel!’
Ah well. Not alone then.
Covering his face with a forearm, Artemis drenched the carriage’s triple bolt with fairy acid. The steel lock melted instantly, dripping to the floor like a stream of mercury. Artemis dragged the sliding door back.
Holly was hanging on grimly, her face steaming where radiation was eating through the gel.
Artemis grabbed her waistband. ‘On three?’
Holly nodded. No more energy for speech.
Artemis flexed his digits. Fingers, don’t fail me now. If he ever got out of this, he would buy one of those ridiculous home gymnasiums advertised on the shopping channels.
‘One.’
The bend was coming. He could see it out of the corner of his eye. The train would slow down or derail itself.
‘Two.’
Captain Short’s strength was almost spent. The wind rippled her frame like a windsock.
‘Three!’
Artemis pulled with all the strength in his thin arms. Holly closed her eyes and let go, unable to believe she was trusting her life to this Mud Boy.
Artemis knew a little something about physics. He timed his count to take advantage of swing, momentum and the train’s own forward motion. But nature always throws something into the mix that can’t be anticipated. In this case the something was a slight gap between two sections of the track. Not enough to derail a locomotive, but certainly enough to cause a bump.
This bump sent the carriage door crashing into its frame like a five-tonne guillotine. But it looked like Holly had made it. Artemis couldn’t really tell because she had crashed into him, sending them both careering into the wooden siding. She seemed to be intact, from what he could see. At least her head was still attached to her neck, which was good. But she did seem to be unconscious. Probably trauma.
Artemis knew that he was going to pass out too. He could tell by the darkness eating at the corners of his vision, like some malignant computer virus. He slipped sideways, landing on Holly’s chest.
This had more severe repercussions than you might think. Because Holly was unconscious, her magic was on autopilot. And unsupervised magic flows like electricity. Artemis’s face made contact with the fairy’s left hand, diverting the flow of blue sparks. And while this was good for him, it was most definitely bad for her. Because although Artemis didn’t know it, Holly needed every spark of magic she could muster – not all of her had made it inside the train.
Commander Root had just activated his piton cord winch when he received a most unexpected poke in the eye.
The goblin D’ Nall removed a small rectangular mirror from his tunic and checked his scales were smooth.
‘These Koboi wings are great. You think we’ll be allowed to keep ‘em?’
Aymon scowled. Not that you’d notice. Goblin lizard ancestry meant that facial movement was pretty limited. ‘Quiet, you hot-blooded fool!’
Hot-blooded. That was a pretty serious insult for one of the B’ wa Kell.
D’ Nall bristled. ‘Be careful, friend, or I’ll tear that forked tongue right out of your head.’
‘We won’t have a tongue between us if those elves escape!’ retorted Aymon.
It was true. The generals did not take disappointment well.
‘So what do we do? I got the looks in this outfit. That must make you the brains.’
‘We shoot at the train,’ interjected Nyle. ‘Simple.’
D’ Nall adjusted his Koboi DoubleDex, hovering across to the squad’s junior member.
‘Idiot,’ he snapped, administering a swift slap to the head. ‘That thing is radioactive, can’t you smell it? One stray burst and we’ll all be ash floating on the breeze.’
‘Good point,’ admitted Nyle. ‘You’re not as stupid as you look.’
‘Thank you.’
‘Welcome.’
Aymon throttled down, descending to a hundred and fifty metres. It was so tempting. One tightly focused burst to take out the elf clinging to the carriage, another to dispatch the human on the roof. But he couldn’t risk it. One degree off target and he’d sucked his last stink-worm spaghetti.
‘OK,’ he announced into his helmet mike. ‘Here’s the plan. With all the radiation in that carriage,