Artemis Fowl_ The Arctic Incident - Eoin Colfer [75]
There was a reed mike below Foaly’s image. Artemis pressed the button.
‘Foaly!’ he rasped, globs of gel splatting on to the console. ‘Can you hear me?’
The centaur reacted instantly. ‘Fowl? What happened to you?’
‘Five seconds, Foaly. I need a plan or we’re all dead.’
Foaly nodded curtly. ‘I’ve got one ready. Put me on all screens.’
‘What? How?’
‘Press the conference button. Yellow. A circle with lines shooting out, like the sun. Do you see it?’
Artemis saw it. He pressed it. Then something pressed him. Very painfully.
General Scalene first noticed the creature flopping out of the plasma pipe. What was it? A pixie? No. No, by all the gods. It was human.
‘Look!’ he cackled. ‘A Mud Man.’
The others were oblivious, too interested in the spectacle on-screen.
But not Cudgeon. A human in the inner sanctum. How could this be? He seized Scalene by the shoulders. ‘Kill him!’
All the generals were listening now. There was killing to be done. With no danger to themselves. They would do this the old-fashioned way: with claws and fireballs.
The human stumbled to one of the consoles and they surrounded him, tongues dangling excitedly. Sputa spun the human around to face his fate.
One by one, the generals conjured fireballs around their fists, closing in for the kill. But then something made them completely forget the injured human. Cudgeon’s face had appeared on all the screens. And the B’ wa Kell executive didn’t like what it was saying:
‘– Just when things are at their most desperate, I shall instruct Opal to return weapons control to the LEP. The B’ wa Kell will be rendered unconscious, and you will be blamed for the entire affair, provided you survive, which I doubt –’
Sputa whirled on his ally. ‘Cudgeon! What does this mean?’
The generals advanced, hissing and spitting. ‘Treachery, Cudgeon! Treachery!’
Cudgeon was not unduly worried. ‘OK,’ he said. ‘Treachery.’
It took Cudgeon a moment to figure out what had happened. It was Foaly. He must have recorded their conversation somehow. How tiresome. Still, you had to hand it to the centaur. He was resourceful.
Cudgeon quickly crossed to the main console, shutting off the broadcast. It wouldn’t do for Opal to hear the rest of it. Particularly the part concerning her tragic accident. He really would have to cut out this grandstanding. Still, no matter. Everything was on track.
‘Treachery!’ hissed Scalene.
‘OK,’ admitted Cudgeon. ‘Treachery.’ And directly after that he said, ‘Computer, activate DNA cannons. Authorization Cudgeon B. Alpha alpha two two.’
On her hoverchair, Opal spun with sheer joy, clapping her tiny hands in delight. Briar was sooo ugly, but he was sooo evil.
Throughout Koboi Labs, robot DNA cannons perked up in their cradles and ran swift self-diagnostics. Apart from a slight drain in the inner sanctum, everything was in order. And so, without further ado, they began to obey their program parameters and target anything with goblin DNA at a rate of ten blasts per second.
It was swift and, as with everything Koboi, efficient. In less than five seconds, the cannons settled back into their cradles. Mission accomplished: two hundred unconscious goblins throughout the facility.
‘Phew,’ said Holly, stepping over rows of snoring goblins. ‘Close one.’
‘Tell me about it,’ agreed Root.
Cudgeon kicked Sputa’s sleeping body.
‘You see, you haven’t accomplished anything, Artemis Fowl,’ he said, drawing his Redboy.
‘Your friends are out there. You’re in here. And the goblins are unconscious, soon to be mind-wiped with some particularly unstable chemicals. Just as I planned.’ He smiled at Opal hovering above them. ‘Just as we planned.’
Opal returned the smile.
At another time, Artemis would have been forced to pass a snide comment. But the possibility of imminent death was occupying his thoughts for the moment.
‘Now, I simply reprogram the cannons to target your friends, return power to the LEP cannons, and take over the world. And nobody can get in here to stop me.’
Of course, you should never say something like that, especially when