Atlas Shrugged [25]
He remained silent. Philip added without being prompted, "We need ten thousand dollars for a vital program, but it's a martyr's task, trying to raise money. There's not a speck of social conscience left in people.
When I think of the kind of bloated money-bags I saw today-why, they spend more than that on any whim, but I couldn't squeeze just a hundred bucks a piece out of them, which was all I asked. They have no sense of moral duty, no . . . What are you laughing at?" he asked sharply. Rearden stood before him, grinning.
It was so childishly blatant, thought Rearden, so helplessly crude: the hint and the insult, offered together. It would be so easy to squash Philip by returning the insult, he thought-by returning an insult which would be deadly because it would be true-that he could not bring himself to utter it. Surely, he thought, the poor fool knows he's at my mercy, knows he's opened himself to be hurt, so I don't have to do it, and my not doing it is my best answer, which he won't be able to miss.
What sort of misery does he really live in, to get himself twisted quite so badly?
And then Rearden thought suddenly that he could break through Philip's chronic wretchedness for once, give him a shock of pleasure, the unexpected gratification of a hopeless desire. He thought: What do I care about the nature of his desire?-it's his, just as Rearden Metal was mine-it must mean to him what that meant to me-let's see him happy just once, it might teach him something-didn't I say that happiness is the agent of purification?-I'm celebrating tonight, so let him share in it-it will be so much for him, and so little for me.
"Philip," he said, smiling, "call Miss Ives at my office tomorrow.
She'll have a check for you for ten thousand dollars."
Philip stared at him blankly; it was neither shock nor pleasure; it was just the empty stare of eyes that looked glassy.
"Oh," said Philip, then added, "We'll appreciate it very much."
There was no emotion in his voice, not even the simple one of greed.
Rearden could not understand his own feeling: it was as if something leaden and empty were collapsing within him, he felt both the weight and the emptiness, together. He knew it was disappointment, but he wondered why it was so gray and ugly.
"It's very nice of you, Henry," Philip said dryly. "I'm surprised. I didn't expect it of you."
"Don't you understand it, Phil?" said Lillian, her voice peculiarly clear and lilting. "Henry's poured his metal today." She turned to Rearden. "Shall we declare it a national holiday, darling?"
"You're a good man, Henry," said his mother, and added, "but not often enough."
Rearden stood looking at Philip, as if waiting.
Philip looked away, then raised his eyes and held Rearden's glance, as if engaged in a scrutiny of his own.
"You don't really care about helping the underprivileged, do you?"
Philip asked-and Rearden heard, unable to believe it, that the tone of his voice was reproachful.
"No, Phil, I don't care about it at all. I only wanted you to be happy."
"But that money is not for me. I am not collecting it for any personal motive. I have no selfish interest in the matter whatever." His voice was cold, with a note of self-conscious virtue.
Rearden turned away. He felt a sudden loathing: not because the words were hypocrisy, but because they were true; Philip meant them.
"By the way, Henry," Philip added, "do you mind if I ask you to have Miss Ives give me the money in cash?" Rearden turned back to him, puzzled. "You see, Friends of Global Progress are a very progressive group and they have always maintained that you represent the blackest element of social retrogression ha the country, so it would embarrass us, you know, to have your name on our list of contributors, because somebody might accuse us of being in the pay of Hank Rearden."
He wanted to slap Philip's face. But an almost unendurable contempt made him close his eyes, instead.
"All right," he said quietly, "you can have it in