Atlas Shrugged [62]
"Why should you care about the others?"
"Because I like to understand things, and there's something about people that I can't understand."
"What?"
"Well, I've always been unpopular in school and it didn't bother me, but now I've discovered the reason. It's an impossible kind of reason.
They dislike me, not because I do things badly, but because I do them well. They dislike me because I've always had the best grades in the class. I don't even have to study. I always get A's. Do you suppose I should try to get D's for a change and become the most popular girl in school?"
Francisco stopped, looked at her and slapped her face.
What she felt was contained in a single instant, while the ground rocked under her feet, in a single blast of emotion within her. She knew that she would have killed any other person who struck her; she felt the violent fury which would have given her the strength for it-and as violent a pleasure that Francisco had done it. She felt pleasure from the dull, hot pain in her cheek and from the taste of blood in the corner of her mouth. She felt pleasure in what she suddenly grasped about him, about herself and about his motive.
She braced her feet to stop the dizziness, she held her head straight and stood facing him in the consciousness of a new power, feeling herself his equal for the first time, looking at him with a mocking smile of triumph.
"Did I hurt you as much as that?" she asked.
He looked astonished; the question and the smile were not those of a child. He answered, "Yes-if it pleases you."
"It does."
"Don't ever do that again. Don't crack jokes of that kind."
"Don't be a fool. Whatever made you think that I cared about being popular?"
"When you grow up, you'll understand what sort of unspeakable thing you said."
"I understand it now."
He turned abruptly, took out his handkerchief and dipped it in the water of the river. "Come here," he ordered.
She laughed, stepping back, "Oh no. I want to keep it as it is. I hope it swells terribly. I like it."
He looked at her for a long moment. He said slowly, very earnestly, "Dagny, you're wonderful."
"I thought that you always thought so," she answered, her voice insolently casual.
When she came home, she told her mother that she had cut her lip by falling against a rock. It was the only lie she ever told. She did not do it to protect Francisco; she did it because she felt, for some reason which she could not define, that the incident was a secret too precious to share, Next summer, when Francisco came, she was sixteen. She started running down the hill to meet him, but stopped abruptly. He saw it, stopped, and they stood for a moment, looking at each other across the distance of a long, green slope. It was he who walked up toward her, walked very slowly, while she stood waiting.
When he approached, she smiled innocently, as if unconscious of any contest intended or won.
"You might like to know," she said, "that I have a job on the railroad.
Night operator at Rockdale."
He laughed. "All right, Taggart Transcontinental, now it's a race.
Let's see who'll do greater honor, you-to Nat Taggart, or I-to Sebastian d'Anconia."
That winter, she stripped her life down to the bright simplicity of a geometrical drawing: a few straight lines-to and from the engineering college in the city each day, to and from her job at Rockdale Station each night-and the closed circle of her room, a room littered with diagrams of motors, blueprints of steel structures, and railroad timetables.
Mrs. Taggart watched her daughter in unhappy bewilderment. She could have forgiven all the omissions, but one: Dagny showed no sign of interest in men, no romantic inclination whatever. Mrs. Taggart did not approve of extremes; she had been prepared to contend with an extreme of the opposite kind, if necessary; she found herself thinking that this was worse. She felt embarrassed when she had to admit that her daughter, at seventeen, did not have a single admirer.
"Dagny and Francisco d'Anconia?" she said, smiting ruefully,