Atlas Shrugged - Ayn Rand [369]
I know it’s I who’ve stayed away from here for weeks.” The smile looked like the effort of a crippled child groping for a gesture that he could not perform any longer. “I did come here once, about two weeks ago, but you weren’t here that night. I was afraid you’d gone ... so many people are vanishing without notice. I hear there’s hundreds of them roving around the country. The police have been arresting them for leaving their jobs—they’re called deserters—but there’s too many of them and no food to feed them in jail, so nobody gives a damn any more, one way or another. I hear the deserters are just wandering about, doing odd jobs or worse—who’s got any odd jobs to offer these days? ... It’s our best men that we’re losing, the kind who’ve been with the company for twenty years or more. Why did they have to chain them to their jobs? Those men never intended to quit—but now they’re quitting at the slightest disagreement, just dropping their tools and walking off, any hour of the day or night, leaving us in all sorts of jams—the men who used to leap out of bed and come running if the railroad needed them.... You should see the kind of human driftwood we’re getting to fill the vacancies. Some of them mean well, but they’re scared of their own shadows. Others are the kind of scum I didn’t think existed—they get the jobs and they know that we can’t throw them out once they’re in, so they make it clear that they don’t intend to work for their pay and never did intend. They’re the kind of men who like it—who like the way things are now. Can you imagine that there are human beings who like it? Well, there are.... You know, I don’t think that I really believe it—all that’s happening to us these days. It’s happening all right, but I don’t believe it. I keep thinking that insanity is a state where a person can’t tell what’s real. Well, what’s real now is insane—and if I accepted it as real, I’d have to lose my mind, wouldn’t I? ... I go on working and I keep telling myself that this is Taggart Transcontinental. I keep waiting for her to come back—for the door to open at any moment and--oh God, I’m not supposed to say that! ... What? You knew it? You knew that she’s gone? ... They’re keeping it secret. But I guess everybody knows it, only nobody is supposed to say it. They’re telling people that she’s away on a leave of absence. She’s still listed as our Vice-President in Charge of Operation. I think Jim and I are the only ones who know that she has resigned for good. Jim is scared to death that his friends in Washington will take it out on him, if it becomes known that she’s quit. It’s supposed to be disastrous for public morale, if any prominent person quits, and Jim doesn’t want them to know that he’s got a deserter right in his own family.... But that’s not all. Jim is scared that the stockholders, the employees and whoever we do business with, will lose the last of their confidence in Taggart Transcontinental if they learn that she’s gone. Confidence! You’d think that it wouldn’t matter now, since there’s nothing any of them can do about it. And yet, Jim knows that we have to preserve some semblance of the greatness that Taggart Transcontinental once stood for. And he knows that the last of it went with her.... No, they don’t know where she is.... Yes, I do, but I won’t tell them. I’m the only one who knows.... Oh yes, they’ve been trying to find out. They’ve tried to pump me in every way they could think of, but it’s no use. I won’t tell anyone.... You should see the trained seal that we now have in her place—our new Operating Vice-President. Oh sure, we have one—that is, we have and we haven’t. It’s like everything they do today—it is and it ain‘t, at the same time. His name is Clifton Locey—he’s from Jim’s personal staff—a bright, progressive young man of forty-seven and a friend of Jim’s. He’s only supposed to be pinch-hitting for her, but he sits in her office and we all know that that’s the new Operating Vice-President. He gives the orders—that is, he sees to it that he’s never caught actually giving an order. He works very