Awake and Dreaming - Kit Pearson [11]
Theo couldn’t believe her ears. She hadn’t had a meal out since Christmas. They rolled up the tape recorder and the Thermos in the blanket and went into the restaurant on the corner.
Theo gobbled up her cheeseburger. Rae grinned at her. “Good, huh? Take your time—there’s plenty more.” Now she was in a fantastic mood. The tiny table was loaded with milkshakes and fries and a hamburger each. Rae looked proud that she could afford to give her child all this.
Theo looked around the pink and grey space full of hungry people gorging themselves. A woman smiled at her. Maybe she was thinking, What a happy mother and daughter! Like Caitlin and her mother.
For a moment Theo was only here—not wishing or pretending she were somewhere else. Everything was so simple; her hunger was satisfied and her mother was focusing entirely on her.
But then Rae began to go on and on about Cal. “I didn’t even know he remembered me! I haven’t seen him for four years at least. He was living with Anne-Marie then. Now he’s alone. I think he’s good-looking, don’t you? And he must make decent money, being in construction. Did you hear him say he’d come and see me at work? Do you think he will?”
Rae’s face was so hopeful and animated. Theo’s full stomach let her feel sorry for her mother. “I’m sure he will,” she said.
But she sighed. Now it would begin again—Rae and a new man. Every time her mother found one, she would rave about him for weeks. Then she’d get tired of him and would spend many more weeks complaining about him.
“I think something’s going to happen with Cal and me,” said her mother. “I can feel it in my bones. I’ve always liked him, ever since we lived on Rupert Street. He really seemed attracted, don’t you think?”
Theo nodded again. Rae was so relaxed, this might be a good moment to bring up the subject of new shoes.
But she’d waited too long. “What am I going to wear if he asks me out?” said Rae. “Let’s stop at the Bay basement before we go home—there’s enough money left to buy me some earrings.”
So much for new shoes. Theo stopped listening. She began staring at a family across the room—two little boys and their parents, who hung on every word they said. The boys began teasing their father about something. They looked like a proper family.
4
Rae began going out with Cal. She got her shift at work changed so she could see him every evening. She would meet Cal after work and come in very late.
Except for Wednesdays and Sundays, Rae’s days off, Theo only saw her mother at breakfast. She trudged to school each day and sat in a trance, her head full of the story she’d read the night before. Sometimes Mr. Barker had to shake her shoulder to get her attention. The mean kids gave up calling her “Licehead” and the nice ones gave up being friendly.
Even Angela had given her up, although sometimes she glanced at Theo with a hurt, puzzled expression.
Theo didn’t care. It was safe, being this invisible. School and home weren’t the real world anyhow—they were a dreary grey world that she only seemed to exist in.
The real world was the one in books. As soon as she got home from school, Theo fixed herself a quick sandwich or opened some beans and ate them cold from the can. She would prop open her new library book on the table, then move to the couch, then to bed, reading until she fell asleep.
Now she took home several books at once and got them safely back before Rae noticed. She probably wouldn’t have noticed anyway. She, too, was living in another world, a world with only her and Cal in it.
In the morning she’d tell Theo where they’d gone the night before—dancing or to a club. “He’s so nice to me!” she said. “He always pays, and he says I look like Julia Roberts. Do you think I do?”
Now Rae was only in bad moods on weekends, when Cal worked on an extra project out of town. On Saturday evenings and Sundays Rae shopped for food and, when she remembered, washed their clothes and hung them out on the balcony to dry. At these times Theo seemed to irritate her more and more.
“Look at these crumbs!” she scolded. “I’ve told