Awake and Dreaming - Kit Pearson [64]
The only thing she wanted to know was how long Rae was going to stay. Every day Theo and Sharon arrived home to find the apartment filled with smoke and Rae sprawled in front of the TV. They waited tensely for her to tell them her plans. Sharon acted more and more irritated with her sister. She no longer tried to please her, as she had when Rae had first brought Theo here.
On Friday they were sitting on the couch after dinner when Sharon stood up and switched off the TV. “What are you going to do, Mary Rae? You can’t stay here forever. This apartment is too small for three people.”
Rae looked apologetic. “I know, I know. Just give me a bit more time.”
“Do you want to talk to a counsellor? Karen at work knows someone who—”
Rae took out a cigarette. “I’ll figure this out on my own, okay?”
Sharon took a deep breath. “You don’t seem to be figuring anything out! All you do is watch TV and smoke. I’ve been figuring some things out, Mary Rae. From now on I want you to only smoke on the balcony. It’s not good for Theo to breathe secondhand smoke. And while you’re here I think you should pick her up at school every day. It would save me the cost of after-school day care.” Her voice became even shriller. “And you could contribute something for food. You must have some money. Don’t you realize I’ve been supporting your child all this time?”
She sat down beside Theo and gave her a hug. “It’s not that I haven’t enjoyed it. I’ve come to love Theo very much. But you said you’d send money and you haven’t once! I’ve had to use my savings, and they’re almost gone!”
Rae looked trapped. “You can really speak your mind when you want to, can’t you?” she muttered. She jerked her unlit cigarette in and out of her mouth. “You’re right, of course. I’ve been a shit about everything, haven’t I? Okay, it’s a deal. I’ll only smoke outside. I’ll pick up the kid after school and I’ll give you some money when my unemployment cheque comes. But I can’t tell you how long I’m staying—I just don’t know yet.”
Then Sharon asked the question Theo dreaded. “But what about your child? You have to decide what you’re going to do about her! I really think you should talk to someone, Mary Rae.”
Rae stood up and headed for the balcony. “Just give me some time, won’t you? I’m not going to see any damn counsellor. I’ve had enough people poking their noses into my business.”
“Don’t use that kind of language in front of Theo,” said Sharon quietly.
Rae laughed as she opened the door to the balcony. “Theo’s heard a lot worse than that, haven’t you, kid?”
THEO COULD HARDLY WAIT to escape to the Kaldors the next day. She paced impatiently while Sharon searched for her keys.
“Who are these people?” asked Rae.
“They’re a wonderful family that Theo’s met,” said Sharon. “She’s been visiting them almost every Saturday. The mother’s an artist and the father’s an English professor.”
“They sound pretty uppity,” said Rae.
“They’re not!” cried Theo. “They’re nice!” It was the first time she’d spoken directly to her mother since she’d come.
“Okay, okay. They’re your friends. But why do you go there every week?”
“Because I like them!” retorted Theo. She flounced after Sharon, slamming the door on Rae.
She’d hoped to forget about her mother at the Kaldors but it didn’t work. She couldn’t enjoy herself, knowing Rae would still be there when she went back.
When they were playing in the cemetery, Theo led the others to Cecily’s grave and lingered there longingly.
“But we saw this last week,” complained Anna. “Come on, Theo, let’s play hide-and-seek.”
Theo stayed behind. If only Cecily would appear again! “Cecily,” she whispered, but nothing happened and finally she ran after the others.
“Is something wrong, Theo?” asked Anna, when they had collapsed under the angel after the game. “You seem so sad.”
“My mother’s here,” said Theo.
“Oh!” Anna looked surprised. “Is that … okay?