Awakening the Buddha Within _ Eight Steps to Enlightenment - Lama Surya Das [102]
Meeting the challenge of desire is a very puzzling experience. It can be tempting to regard this particular hindrance and rationalize it away, saying that it isn’t really desire we’re feeling, that it’s really something else. For example:
John doesn’t believe that he “lusts” for money and success; he thinks he is just trying to earn a living for his family. However, when John is making a sale, he completely loses track of the other person’s humanity as well as right and wrong. All he can think about is closing the deal, which is his way of winning and asserting his dominance and superiority. Money means more to him than a livelihood. It is his way of keeping score.
Mary is obsessed by the ups and downs in her relationship with her boyfriend. She doesn’t know what she would do if he wasn’t in her life so she tolerates a range of frustrating and emotionally abusive behavior. She doesn’t think what she is experiencing is lust or craving because her feelings are so much more complicated than sex. She clings to whatever contact she can have with him and tells herself that since she is so completely absorbed in another human being, she doesn’t desire enough for herself. Mary doesn’t see this as an inner spiritual problem. She feels everything depends on him.
Greg craves a more exciting, less domestic life. His need for excitement is so great that he doesn’t realistically see how much his children want their father’s attention. Instead of cherishing his family and the time he can spend with them, he shows his resentment in dozens of small ways.
MOTHS R US
Purifying oneself of craving and desire is a complex and subtle process. The analogy of a misguided moth being consumed by the candle flame to which it is fatally attracted is a good one. Sometimes we want something so badly that we think we can’t possibly let go of our goal. Clutching at such objects of our desire, we get carried away and completely lose our perspective. Our grip is so tight that our grasping mind’s hands get rope burns from hanging on for dear life, when it is hardly a matter of life and death at all. Desire brings more desire. Many of us lead lives in which we are always “wanting” something; that’s how we think we are going to find happiness. However, in truth, incessantly going from one object of desire to another only perpetuates dissatisfying, addictive patterns in our lives. Whether it’s a better relationship, better sex, a better job, better clothes, better real estate, a better car, or a better mood—desire can easily consume one’s life. Like drinking salt water to alleviate thirst, trying to satisfy our momentary desires is not satisfying—at least not for very long.
On the spiritual path, be prepared to confront compulsive desires again and again. Watch what you desire; observe what attracts or repels you most. Notice what buttons are pushed in you by external stimuli, and how you respond to each of them. We have all invested emotional intensity and energy in wanting, achieving, accumulating, and grasping. How does it happen? What is it for you? Just round up the usual suspects and look them over—love, ego gratification, sex, sensual pleasures, money, possessions, fame, security, power. Are we making Faustian deals with the devil?
When the Buddha gave the Fire Sermon to a thousand disciples at Gaya, he told them that “All is burning … burning with the fire of lust, with the fire of hate, with the fire of delusion.” Desire nothing, and you will be liberated and free. The third Zen patriarch sang, “The way is not difficult for those who have no preferences.”
As you make the choices on which you will base your actions, watch to see what is motivating you. Desirelessness is nirvanic peace. Relinquishing attachment and clinging does ultimately pay off. Let go and let Buddha.
BEING CREATIVE IN
ACCOMPLISHING GOOD DEEDS