Awakening the Buddha Within _ Eight Steps to Enlightenment - Lama Surya Das [179]
CHOOSING A SPIRITUAL GROUP OR TEACHER
Students often ask me what they should look for or avoid. In general, I think everyone should be wary of joining groups that control behavior, thinking, emotions, or the right of individuals to question the leadership, the teachings, or the organizational policies. If information is tightly controlled, new students may be in for some unhappy surprises. Let’s not forget that destructive cults sometimes masquerade as religious groups—like wolves in sheep’s clothing.
More specifically, here are some things to consider:
1. If you’re becoming a part of a spiritual group, don’t give your power away too quickly to authority figures, thus disempowering and perhaps even infantilizing yourself. Don’t become overly dependent on leaders; be aware and wary of projection, over-idealization, transference, and placing charismatic teachers and masters on too high a pedestal. We should not naively imagine that leaders are all-knowing, infallible, and omnipotent parent figures. Once again, the Buddha himself said:
Rely not on the teacher [person], but on the teaching.
Rely not on the words of the teaching, but on the spirit of the words.
Rely not on theory, but on experience.
2. Be wary of exotic gurus and leaders who make fantastic promises, claim fabulous powers, or expect blind obedience.
3. Take a long hard look at any teacher or group leader where there is even the slightest scent of self-serving conflicts of interest and misuses of power, sex, money, or intoxicants. Instead seek out teachers who practice what they preach.
4. When you are considering joining a sangha or being part of a spiritual group, be alert to prejudice or bigotry, self-righteousness, “group think,” double standards, and an atmosphere that encourages inner circles, secrets, and white lies.
5. Walk away from any group that tries to separate you from your family or friends or exhibits cultlike behavior. Danger signs of spiritual blight include demands of unquestioning adherence to the party line; any indication that you will be asked to harm yourself or others; use of threats, curses, excommunication, and hellfire to people who consider leaving the group; attempts to control your behavior and your finances.
In order to discover your own path, you may find it very helpful to read spiritual books, to cruise the bookstores, libraries, and friends’ bookshelves. You can look at reading lists compiled by teachers, and access Buddhist Websites for recommended reading lists and discussion groups. Find what resonates with your personal needs. Go to lectures; sample introductory meditation classes and events at different spiritual centers. Let’s appreciate the banquet of Dharma now available to us all. Often it helps to attend some weekend meditation workshops or residential retreats. Use your own discriminating mind, and trust your heart and your intuition. In short, follow your nose.
When choosing a teacher, don’t be overly attracted to grandiose titles, church titles, past-life résumés, or any form of hyperbolic advertising. Even if these highly advertised masters or teachings are the greatest, perhaps someone more like yourself would be most helpful to you during the initial stages. You don’t need a Nobel Prize–winning physicist to teach you arithmetic; such a person may even teach over your head instead of providing the basics you need. Keep in mind that the teachers’ main purpose is not to be brilliant, entertaining, or fascinating. A teacher should be judged by different standards than a performer who plays to an audience.
Buddhism’s purpose is to provide us with tools and techniques that we need, which is perhaps not always what we think we want. Whatever group or teacher you may become involved with, check them out for a good while before irrevocably committing yourself to anything. The Dalai Lama has said, “Why not learn from everyone as much as you can, wherever you can? Go and listen to ordinary instructors, taking what you find useful