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By Root 968 0

assets such as athletic ability, or do you identify with your physical conditioning? Healthy or unhealthy, overweight or underweight? How about political beliefs? How about your job description? Do you think of yourself as a doctor, lawyer, cabinetmaker? How about your thoughts? Do you consider yourself a peaceful person or an angry person? Quick witted or a dim lightbulb? Or perhaps you identify with your personal history. You may say, “I’m somebody who has a rotten relationship history,” or “I’m the victim of a tormented childhood/bad luck with the opposite sex/unfortunate employment.” When you meet someone at a party, how do you introduce yourself: by occupation, perhaps? When asked, do you say something like, “I am an accountant” or “I’m a feminist”?

As we begin to meditate and delve more deeply into the subtle issues of the spirit, our self-concepts become very revealing. We begin to recognize the stories we tell ourselves for what they are: reflections of the fantasy self we construct, and keep constructing, moment after moment. We start to see how this projected fantasy self, in turn, conditions and creates what we experience. Each of us becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, the proverbial accident waiting to happen. When we look around at the people we meet, it sometimes seems easy to see this process at work; it’s much more difficult to recognize how it is operating in our own lives.

With others, we often see how their self-concepts and self-imposed limitations help shape and determine their future. We can, for example, go to a party with David who complains that he never meets a woman with whom he could settle down; then watch as he quickly becomes smitten with a woman who has just joined the Peace Corps and is heading for Bulgaria. In his life, longing and love are seemingly synonymous. Elusive women attract him, obviously, but why? Or we watch as Uncle George who defines himself as a conservative alienates his children with his rigidly reactionary attitudes. We watch as Dora, who acknowledges her many image issues, creates more financial anxiety by purchasing yet another expensive antique. Why can’t we see more clearly how self-concepts control our lives? The question is: Who or what is determining our self-concepts? Where do these patterns come from; how do they emerge and function; how can we find better ways to handle our karmic conditioning?

Maybe you’ve read some Buddhist books, so you know about the teaching of anatta, egolessness, or “no-self.” The concept of anatta is at the heart of the Buddha’s teachings on the Five Skandhas or aggregates of individuality, as discussed. According to this teaching, we are each comprised of form, feelings, perceptions, intentionality, and consciousness—all of which change moment to moment. Behind these Five Skandhas, there is no abiding, independently existing permanent self—or soul—to be found. There is no fixed, eternal I, or ego. Everything changes according to the laws of cause and effect. All is in flux or flow.

This is the teaching that we sometimes joke about, saying, “The lights are on, but nobody’s home.” It’s a good joke as well as a meaningful example of enlightened humor. The animating light within is on, but nobody in particular is home. Let’s go deeper. Who is thinking that witty remark? Some days we feel bright, but in actuality we might find that we don’t know very much. Yet not knowing can be quite liberating. Not knowing is a good balance to our usual judgmental surety. It is better to know nothing than to know what isn’t so. How about an open-ended approach, a little not knowing and mystery, leaving some room for wonder and to experience what lies beyond the rational mind?

SELF AS PROCESS

Anatta, or no-self, means that each of us is a process rather than a fixed, independent, eternal self, or concrete entity. One of the meanings given for anatta is “no governor.” It’s like in The Wizard of Oz when we discover that there is no great overlord behind the screen, just more facets beneath each multifaceted surface. Everything we think about things is