Awakening the Buddha Within _ Eight Steps to Enlightenment - Lama Surya Das [70]
Nathan needs to stop and be still with himself in order to get clear about the situation. Just as when you stop stirring and shaking river water the mud settles and its innate clarity emerges. If Nathan could stop struggling and tugging irritably at the knots of his own tangled relationships, there would be more room for things to fall into place and for what really matters to him in the long run to make itself clear. But Nathan has established behavior patterns for dealing with conflict that are not always constructive. Like most of us when anxiety, panic, distress, or depression gains a good grip, Nathan responds by seeking distractions and quick fixes. Some people reach for carbohydrates, chocolate, booze, or department store credit cards; Nathan tends to rely on sex and the heady fantasies created by new romance.
Just last week, for example, when Nathan was in a client’s office, he met a very attractive woman with whom he had a good conversation. He’s thinking obsessively about her now, and he’s thinking about calling her. This is an obvious example of a situation in which his complex, conflicting thoughts and feelings are providing the groundwork for behavior—in this case behavior that could end up creating a lot of pain. How are Nathan’s feelings toward his wife and child going to be altered by his conflict? What are Nathan’s intentions toward this female acquaintance? Obviously nothing is simple, not even one small set of good intentions. Right now, Nathan is having a difficult time seeing beyond his emotional and physical needs and the immediacy of his current sense of dissatisfaction. How will Nathan behave? That depends. Can he be honest with himself? Can he put another’s well-being before his own? Can he be wise? Can he be loving?
TRUTH AND LOVE,
IN EVERYTHING WE DO
It is no easy task to move from an ego-centered selfish point of view toward one of openness, love, and compassion. To live a life of open-handed and open-hearted love, forgiveness, patience, and acceptance requires a great deal of inner work. And yet this is what must be undertaken, step by step, if we are to walk the spiritual path to enlightenment.
Bodhicitta, “awakened mind,” is the luminous heart of the Dharma. Wisdom and compassion—truth and love—are absolutely indispensable, mutually supportive, and totally inseparable.
If it looks like wisdom, but is unkind rather than loving, it’s not wisdom.
If it feels like love, but it’s not wise, it’s not love.
Like the two wings that together enable a bird to fly, love and wisdom are interdependent. These complementary facets of the heart-jewel of bodhicitta—clear, precise, sharp swordlike wisdom and warm, nurturing, open-hearted compassion—facilitate swift transformation on the great highway of awakening. If these qualities don’t show up in our daily lives, our Dharma needs better grounding in our bodies and on this earth.
Bodhicitta is the core of spiritual development. The ultimate absolutely transcendent aspect of bodhicitta is sunyata, luminous emptiness or pure and untrammelled, radiant openness. The relative, more conventional aspect of bodhicitta is an unselfish aspiration for enlightenment, best embodied in the Bodhisattva’s vow to alleviate the suffering of all beings.
ACTUALIZING YOUR
TENDER LOVING HEART
It is said that a long time ago, a Mahayana Buddhist master was teaching about bodhicitta in ancient India, when his words were interrupted by the barking of a dog. The loud insistent barking so annoyed one man in the crowd that he threw a rock at the dog, striking him on the left side. At that instant, the master fell to the ground and cried out in pain. Later, when his worried disciples asked what had happened, they saw that on the teacher’s left side there was a large bruise. The dog’s pain had so touched this teacher’s noble and tender heart that it became his pain. He took it on himself. Whether or not we take teaching tales like this