Awkward Family Photos - Mike Bender [13]
Meredith
San Diego, California
My British parents used to host an annual Boxing Day party here in Texas. It was a large open house–style party and very popular. Boxing Day in the UK is the day after Christmas. My father had gotten a purple martin condo (very tall, elaborate birdhouse) for Christmas, and he was so excited that he wanted to put it up right away to have it ready for the purple martin nesting season in the spring. While my mother took care of the guests at the party, he worked on getting the martin house and its pulley system working—it required hoisting with a rope far up into the air to sit high on a post. Before the final step in setting up the bird condo, he came into the house, walked into the living room, and announced very loudly to the large group of guests gathered there, “Who wants to see an erection?”
Amanda
Austin, Texas
One year, my family was hosting Christmas and we had a ton of relatives coming over for dinner. My brother and I were both in college and completely broke. We didn’t have enough money to buy anyone presents, so we decided to rummage through the house a few hours before dinner for gag gifts.
During dinner, my brother and I give out our gag gifts. We’re all having a good laugh when my mom says, “Oh, wait, there’s one more for me!” I’m looking at the gift and thinking, “I don’t remember wrapping anything for Mom.” She unwraps the present, holds up a Lucite framed Nativity scene, and says, “Oh my God! This is hilarious! How gaudy!” And just as we’re all about to join her in laughter, my sister’s new boyfriend, Andrew, pipes up for the first time and says, “Actually, that’s from me.”
Ivana
San Francisco, California
f the thousands of awkward photos we’ve received, there were a few that were, well, a little different. They often left us confused, sometimes scared, and always wondering what the hell was going on. At first, we didn’t know what to do with them, so we filed them away. But that didn’t last for long, because we couldn’t stop thinking about them. So we took a second look and ultimately realized that oddness was also something worth celebrating.
While this dad was trying to teach his daughter a valuable lesson, this actually does nothing for the environment.
Never ash on Grandma.
Some people run the sink. This gentleman responds to Tchaikovsky.
A very rare case of farmer’s ax tan.
We think Amanda summed it up best: “This is me. And a tiger. In a shopping mall.”
Has anybody seen Aunt Telcia?
Bonus Chapter
Some people just have to be the off-center of attention.
Circumstances like these only encourage mom to be more of a backseat driver.
This father is always there to support his daughter.
Even though she jumped the gun on the dismount, Mom still nailed the smile.
Sometimes we need a gentle reminder from sis to let us know when it’s time to let go.
No, she’s not mad at her. She loves her. See?
AFP Rule #65: Growth spurts. And lack of growth spurts.
Finally, something these sisters could agree on.
For the sibling pair who can stand to look like each other but can’t stand to look at each other.
Guess who spent more time in the bathroom?
From now on, they’ll remember to call Grandma more often.
It’s a love of spa treatments that keeps these cuzzes so close.
This man takes an opportunity to show everyone back at the office just how relaxed he was on the cruise.
Awkward Rule #72: Performing in the resort talent show.
These two decided to take the express tour of the Windy City.
This young man has just developed a new fear … of Dad’s itineraries.
It appears that everyone objects at this wedding ceremony.
Someone had prematurely begun her Easter egg hunt.
Shortly after taking this photo, the dog converted.
Nothing brings out the love quite like the beauty of nature.
Jolly St. Nick wanted no part of this one.
This family asked for a backdrop