Ayala's Angel [237]
that it would be best for him to obey his father if there was no hope. But his mind was still swayed by a theory of love and constancy. He had heard of men who had succeeded after a dozen times of asking. If Stubbs, the hated but generous Stubbs, were in truth a successful rival, then indeed the thing would be over -- then he would go, the sooner the better; and, as he told his mother half a dozen times a day, it would matter nothing to him whether he were sent to Japan, or the Rocky Mountains, or the North Pole. In such a case he would be quite content to go, if only for the sake of going. But how was he to be sure? He was, indeed, nearly sure in the other direction. If Ayala were in truth engaged to Colonel Stubbs it would certainly be known through Lucy. Then he had heard, through Lucy, that, though Ayala was staying at Stalham, the Colonel was not there. He had gone, and Ayala had remained week after week without him. Then, towards the end of March, he wrote a letter to his Uncle Reginald, which was very piteous in its tone:
DEAR UNCLE REGINALD, [the letter said]
I don't know whether you have heard of it, but I have been very ill -- and unhappy. I am now in bed, and nobody here knows that I am sending this letter to you. It is all about Ayala, and I am not such a fool as to suppose that you can do anything for me. If you could I think you would -- but of course you can't. She must choose for herself -- only I do so wish that she should choose me. Nobody would ever be more kind to her. But you can tell me really how it is. Is she engaged to marry Colonel Stubbs? I know that she refused him, because he told me so himself. If she is not engaged to him I think that I would have another shy at it. You know what the poet says -- "Faint heart never won fair lady". Do tell me if she is or is not engaged. I know that she is with those Alburys, and that Colonel Stubbs is their friend. But they can't make her marry Colonel Stubbs any more than my friends can make her marry me. I wish they could. I mean my friends, not his.
"If she were really engaged I would go away and hide myself in the furthermost corner of the world. Siberia or Central Africa would be the same to me. They would have little trouble in getting rid of me if I knew that it was all over with me. BUT I WILL NEVER STIR FROM THESE REALMS TILL I KNOW MY FATE!
Therefore, waiting your reply, I am your affectionate nephew, THOMAS TRINGLE, junior
Mr Dosett, when he received this letter, consulted his wife before he replied to it, and then did so very shortly:
MY DEAR TOM,
As far as I know, or her aunt, your cousin Ayala is not engaged to marry anyone. But I should deceive you if I did not add my belief that she is resolved not to accept the offer you have done her the honour to make her.
Your affectionate uncle,
REGINALD DOSETT
The latter portion of this paragraph had no influence whatsoever on Tom. Did he not know all that before? Had he ever attempted to conceal from his relations the fact that Ayala had refused him again and again? Was not that as notorious to the world at large as a minister's promise that the income-tax should be abolished? But the income-tax was not abolished -- and, as yet, Ayala was not married to anyone else. Ayala was not even engaged to any other suitor. Why should she not change her mind as well as the minister? Certainly he would not go either to the North Pole or to New York as long as there should be a hope of bliss for him in England. Then he called his mother to his bedside.
"Go to Stalham, my dear!" said his mother.
"Why not? They can't eat you. Lady Albury is no more than a Baronet's wife -- just the same as you."
"It isn't about eating me, Tom. I shouldn't know what to say to them."
"You need not tell them anything. Say that you had come to call upon your niece."
"But it would be such an odd thing to do. I never do call on Ayala -- even when I am in London."
"What does it matter being odd? You could learn the truth at any rate. If she does not care for anyone else why shouldn't
DEAR UNCLE REGINALD, [the letter said]
I don't know whether you have heard of it, but I have been very ill -- and unhappy. I am now in bed, and nobody here knows that I am sending this letter to you. It is all about Ayala, and I am not such a fool as to suppose that you can do anything for me. If you could I think you would -- but of course you can't. She must choose for herself -- only I do so wish that she should choose me. Nobody would ever be more kind to her. But you can tell me really how it is. Is she engaged to marry Colonel Stubbs? I know that she refused him, because he told me so himself. If she is not engaged to him I think that I would have another shy at it. You know what the poet says -- "Faint heart never won fair lady". Do tell me if she is or is not engaged. I know that she is with those Alburys, and that Colonel Stubbs is their friend. But they can't make her marry Colonel Stubbs any more than my friends can make her marry me. I wish they could. I mean my friends, not his.
"If she were really engaged I would go away and hide myself in the furthermost corner of the world. Siberia or Central Africa would be the same to me. They would have little trouble in getting rid of me if I knew that it was all over with me. BUT I WILL NEVER STIR FROM THESE REALMS TILL I KNOW MY FATE!
Therefore, waiting your reply, I am your affectionate nephew, THOMAS TRINGLE, junior
Mr Dosett, when he received this letter, consulted his wife before he replied to it, and then did so very shortly:
MY DEAR TOM,
As far as I know, or her aunt, your cousin Ayala is not engaged to marry anyone. But I should deceive you if I did not add my belief that she is resolved not to accept the offer you have done her the honour to make her.
Your affectionate uncle,
REGINALD DOSETT
The latter portion of this paragraph had no influence whatsoever on Tom. Did he not know all that before? Had he ever attempted to conceal from his relations the fact that Ayala had refused him again and again? Was not that as notorious to the world at large as a minister's promise that the income-tax should be abolished? But the income-tax was not abolished -- and, as yet, Ayala was not married to anyone else. Ayala was not even engaged to any other suitor. Why should she not change her mind as well as the minister? Certainly he would not go either to the North Pole or to New York as long as there should be a hope of bliss for him in England. Then he called his mother to his bedside.
"Go to Stalham, my dear!" said his mother.
"Why not? They can't eat you. Lady Albury is no more than a Baronet's wife -- just the same as you."
"It isn't about eating me, Tom. I shouldn't know what to say to them."
"You need not tell them anything. Say that you had come to call upon your niece."
"But it would be such an odd thing to do. I never do call on Ayala -- even when I am in London."
"What does it matter being odd? You could learn the truth at any rate. If she does not care for anyone else why shouldn't