Ayala's Angel [271]
bad weather if I am to go."
"Perhaps you may have a touch of that, too."
"If the ship could be dashed against a rock I should prefer it!" exclaimed Tom.
"That's nonsense. The Cunard ships never are dashed against rocks. By the time you've been three days at sea you'll be as hungry as a hunter. Now, Tom, how about money?"
"I don't care about money," said Tom.
"Don't you? Then you're very unlike anybody else that I meet. I think I had better give you power to draw at New York, San Francisco, Yokohama, Pekin, and Calcutta."
"Am I to go to Pekin?" asked Tom, with renewed melancholy.
"Well, yes -- I think so. You had better see what the various houses are doing in China. And then from Calcutta you can go up the country. By that time I dare say we shall have possession of Kabul. With such a government as we have now, thank God! the Russians will have been turned pretty nearly out of Asia by this time next year."?SS1?EE
"Am I to be away more than a year?"
"If I were you," said the father, glad to catch the glimmer of assent which was hereby implied -- "if I were you I would do it thoroughly whilst I was about it. Had I seen so much when I was young I should have been a better man of business."
"It's all the same to me," said Tom. "Say ten years, if you like it! Say twenty! I shan't ever want to come back again. Where am I to go after Kabul?"
"I didn't exactly fix it that you should go to Kabul. Of course you will write home and give me your own opinion as you travel on. You will stay two or three months probably in the States." "Am I to go to Niagara?" he asked.
"Of course you will, if you wish it. The Falls of Niagara, I am told, are very wonderful."
"If a man is to drown himself," said Tom, "it's the sort of place to do it effectually."
"Oh, Tom!" exclaimed his father. "Do not speak to me in that way when I am doing everything in my power to help you in your trouble!"
"You cannot help me," said Tom.
"Circumstances will. Time will do it. Employment will do it. A sense of your dignity as a man will do it, when you find yourself amongst others who know nothing of what you have suffered. You revel in your grief now because those around you know that you have failed. All that will be changed when you are with strangers. You should not talk to your father of drowning yourself!"
"That was wrong. I know it was wrong," said Tom, humbly. "I won't do it if I can help it -- but perhaps I had better not go there. And how long ought I to stay at Yokohama? Perhaps you had better put it all down on a bit of paper." Then Sir Thomas endeavoured to explain to him that all that he said now was in the way of advice. That it would be in truth left to himself to go almost where he liked and to stay at each place almost as long as he liked -- that he would be his own master, and that within some broad and undefined limits he would have as much money as he pleased to spend. Surely no preparations for a young man's tour were ever made with more alluring circumstances! But Tom could not be tempted into any expression of satisfaction.
This, however, Sir Thomas did gain -- that before he left his son's room it was definitely settled -- that Tom should take his departure on the Friday, going down to Liverpool by an afternoon train on that day. "I tell you what," said Sir Thomas; "I'll go down with you, see you on board the ship, and introduce you to Captain Merry. I shall be glad of an opportunity of paying a visit to Liverpool." And so the question of Tom's departure was settled.
On the Wednesday and Thursday he seemed to take some interest in his bags and portmanteaus, and began himself to look after those assuagements of the toils of travel which are generally dear to young men. He interested himself in a fur coat, in a well-arranged despatch box, and in a very neat leathern case which was intended to hold two brandy flasks. He consented to be told of the number of his shirts, and absolutely expressed an opinion that he should want another pair of dress-boots. When this occurred
"Perhaps you may have a touch of that, too."
"If the ship could be dashed against a rock I should prefer it!" exclaimed Tom.
"That's nonsense. The Cunard ships never are dashed against rocks. By the time you've been three days at sea you'll be as hungry as a hunter. Now, Tom, how about money?"
"I don't care about money," said Tom.
"Don't you? Then you're very unlike anybody else that I meet. I think I had better give you power to draw at New York, San Francisco, Yokohama, Pekin, and Calcutta."
"Am I to go to Pekin?" asked Tom, with renewed melancholy.
"Well, yes -- I think so. You had better see what the various houses are doing in China. And then from Calcutta you can go up the country. By that time I dare say we shall have possession of Kabul. With such a government as we have now, thank God! the Russians will have been turned pretty nearly out of Asia by this time next year."?SS1?EE
"Am I to be away more than a year?"
"If I were you," said the father, glad to catch the glimmer of assent which was hereby implied -- "if I were you I would do it thoroughly whilst I was about it. Had I seen so much when I was young I should have been a better man of business."
"It's all the same to me," said Tom. "Say ten years, if you like it! Say twenty! I shan't ever want to come back again. Where am I to go after Kabul?"
"I didn't exactly fix it that you should go to Kabul. Of course you will write home and give me your own opinion as you travel on. You will stay two or three months probably in the States." "Am I to go to Niagara?" he asked.
"Of course you will, if you wish it. The Falls of Niagara, I am told, are very wonderful."
"If a man is to drown himself," said Tom, "it's the sort of place to do it effectually."
"Oh, Tom!" exclaimed his father. "Do not speak to me in that way when I am doing everything in my power to help you in your trouble!"
"You cannot help me," said Tom.
"Circumstances will. Time will do it. Employment will do it. A sense of your dignity as a man will do it, when you find yourself amongst others who know nothing of what you have suffered. You revel in your grief now because those around you know that you have failed. All that will be changed when you are with strangers. You should not talk to your father of drowning yourself!"
"That was wrong. I know it was wrong," said Tom, humbly. "I won't do it if I can help it -- but perhaps I had better not go there. And how long ought I to stay at Yokohama? Perhaps you had better put it all down on a bit of paper." Then Sir Thomas endeavoured to explain to him that all that he said now was in the way of advice. That it would be in truth left to himself to go almost where he liked and to stay at each place almost as long as he liked -- that he would be his own master, and that within some broad and undefined limits he would have as much money as he pleased to spend. Surely no preparations for a young man's tour were ever made with more alluring circumstances! But Tom could not be tempted into any expression of satisfaction.
This, however, Sir Thomas did gain -- that before he left his son's room it was definitely settled -- that Tom should take his departure on the Friday, going down to Liverpool by an afternoon train on that day. "I tell you what," said Sir Thomas; "I'll go down with you, see you on board the ship, and introduce you to Captain Merry. I shall be glad of an opportunity of paying a visit to Liverpool." And so the question of Tom's departure was settled.
On the Wednesday and Thursday he seemed to take some interest in his bags and portmanteaus, and began himself to look after those assuagements of the toils of travel which are generally dear to young men. He interested himself in a fur coat, in a well-arranged despatch box, and in a very neat leathern case which was intended to hold two brandy flasks. He consented to be told of the number of his shirts, and absolutely expressed an opinion that he should want another pair of dress-boots. When this occurred