Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother - Amy Chua [75]
“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Lulu. “Of course I’m glad you forced me to play the violin.”
“Oh, right. Hello Dr. Jekyll! Where’s Mr. Hyde?”
“No—I mean it,” Lulu said. “I’m always going to love the violin. I’m even glad you made me drill exponents. And study Chinese for two hours every day.”
“Seriously?” I asked.
“Yeah,” nodded Lulu.
“Really!” I said. “Because come to think of it, I think those were great choices we made too, even though all those people worried that you and Sophia would be permanently damaged psychologically. And you know, the more I think about it, the madder I’m getting. All these Western parents with the same party line about what’s good for children and what’s not—I’m not sure they’re making choices at all. They just do what everyone else does. They’re not questioning anything either, which is what Westerners are supposed to be so good at doing. They just keep repeating things like ‘You have to give your children the freedom to pursue their passion’ when it’s obvious that the ‘passion’ is just going to turn out to be Facebook for ten hours which is a total waste of time and eating all that disgusting junk food—I’m telling you this country is going to go straight downhill ! No wonder Western parents get thrown into nursing homes when they’re old! You guys better not put me in one of those. And I don’t want my plug pulled either.”
“Calm down, Mommy,” said Lulu.
“When their kids fail at something, instead of telling them to work harder, the first thing Western parents do is bring a lawsuit!”
“Who exactly are you talking about?” asked Sophia. “I don’t know any Western parents who have brought a lawsuit.”
“I refuse to buckle to politically correct Western social norms that are obviously stupid. And not even rooted historically. What are the origins of the Playdate anyway? Do you think our Founding Fathers had Sleepovers? I actually think America’s Founding Fathers had Chinese values.”
“I hate to break it to you, Mommy, but—”
“Ben Franklin said, ‘If thou loveth life, never ever EVER wasteth time.’ Thomas Jefferson said, ‘I’m a huge believer in luck, and the harder I work the more I have of it.’ And Alexander Hamilton said, ‘Don’t be a whiner.’ That’s a totally Chinese way of thinking.”
“Mommy, if the Founding Fathers thought that way, then it’s an American way of thinking,” said Sophia. “Besides, I think you may be misquoting.”
“Look it up,” I dared her.
My sister Katrin is doing better now. Life is definitely tough for her, and she’s not out of the woods yet, but she’s a hero and bears everything with grace, doing research around the clock, writing paper after paper, and spending as much time as she can with her kids.
I often wonder what the lesson of her illness is. Given that life is so short and so fragile, surely each of us should be trying to get the most out of every breath, every fleeting moment. But what does it mean to live life to its fullest?
We all have to die. But which way does that cut? In any case, I’ve just told Jed that I want to get another dog.
Acknowledgments
I have so many people to thank:
My mother and father—no one has believed in me more, and they have my deepest admiration and gratitude.
Sophia and Louisa, my greatest source of happiness, the pride and joy of my life.
My extraordinary sisters, Michelle, Katrin, and Cindy.
And most of all, my husband, Jed Rubenfeld, who for twenty-five years has read every word I’ve written. I am the unbelievably lucky beneficiary of his kindness and genius.
My brother-in-law Or Gozani and my nieces and nephews Amalia, Dimitri, Diana, Jake, and Ella.
The following dear friends, for insightful comments, passionate debates, and invaluable support: Alexis Contant and Jordan Smoller, Sylvia and Walter Austerer, Susan and Paul Fiedler, Marina Santilli, Anne Dailey, Jennifer Brown (for “humbled”!), Nancy Greenberg, Anne Tofflemire, Sarah Bilston and Daniel Markovits, and Kathleen Brown-Dorato and Alex Dorato. Thanks also