Becoming Madame Mao - Anchee Min [139]
Madame Mao Jiang Ching appears by the door. She is in a suit with a sand-colored scarf around her neck. My sixty-third birthday is coming, she utters. I've never celebrated my birthdays. There hasn't been much to celebrate. But my life is changing and the people will begin to celebrate my birthday. I trust their judgment.
Like a weed she breaks through the sidewalks. She extends her arms far out and begins to sing like her opera heroine. Cracks the patio pavement, and she will pierce the most desolate corner to find air and light!
Evening wraps the room. Little Moon sits by the phone.
Still no answer from Chun-qiao's office? Madame Mao asks.
No.
What about Yao?
No answer either. By the way, Madame, we have also lost touch with Wang.
There is a sudden collision of thoughts in which fear realizes itself. Madame Mao feels the gradual stifling of her breathing. Pictures pass through her head like a movie, which later proves to match what really happened.
The first shot is the clock hanging on the wall of the Hall of Mercy. The time is seven fifty-five in the evening. At the hall's entrance Chun-qiao enters with quick steps. He is in a Mao jacket and looks small and thin as if in a wide-angle lens. Suddenly behind him two guards appear. They hop on his back and press him to the floor. His glasses are taken off. There is no struggle and he is taken away. The time is eight-fifteen.
The set changes. It is now the Hall of the East Wing. Disciple Yao enters. Two guards come out and block his way. He looks around and falls on his knees. Then comes Wang Hong-wen. When Wang sees the guards approaching he turns around to run but doesn't make it to the gate. He puts up a fight but is tied up eventually.
One guard walks toward the camera. There is elation on his face. He stretches out his arm and turns the camera off.
No one is picking up her calls for help. No one is at home. Everybody has "hospitalized" themselves in order to avoid her.
Suddenly she is attacked by a feeling of worthlessness. Her childhood memories rush back to her. The face of her father. The tears of her mother. Pain surfaces. Terror. The water rises, and now is throat deep. She hears her father's yell. Give it up!
Why is it so quiet here? Why are you, Little Moon, looking at me like a wakening soul? Was my guess right? Have the wolves finally infested my land? Stop it! Stop trembling like a coward!...There is ... nothing I can do, I suppose. The military has always been my weak point. The Chairman didn't leave me enough time to manage the warlords. The warlords ... maybe ... I cannot say that the trap was not set by Mao himself ... Come here, Little Moon.
Little Moon rises. Her stick-thin body is stiff and her eyes dwell freezingly.
Come, girl, and sit down by me. Let's chat. Cheer me up. Let me tell you stories of my life. Because in a few minutes it will be a different story. I will be called the White-Boned Demon. Come on, Little Moon, unzip your pursed mouth. It doesn't look attractive when you clench your jaw tight. You are a pretty girl. Why don't you let me fix your eyebrows? Bring me the little scissors. I have to do it now or never. No? What's wrong? Don't stare at me as if you have just swallowed a spoiled egg. Come on, courage!
Little Moon twists her mouth and breathes unevenly.
I'm getting bored listening to the sound of my own voice. Where are the wolves?
Quietly she eats her last meal as Madame Mao. Little Moon is ordered to join her. But the young woman can't make herself eat. She unshells clams with her chopsticks and puts the meat onto Jiang Ching's small side plate.
Thank you. I appreciate your loyalty and I wish you were Nah. It's a mother's foolishness. It seems now ... that she was not unwise ... Ninxia Desert she has escaped ... The realm of laxity ... Anyway, this is to cap my life. It's time to be a martyr, to stick a chopstick into my throat—I am preparing myself. A good actress can handle any scene ...