Becoming Madame Mao - Anchee Min [97]
April 2 and 5, Chun-qiao replies.
In People's Daily and The Red Flag?
Yes, it shall serve to launch a nationwide attack.
Just as Mao used to in battle he assigns Kang Sheng as a backup force. Make sure to get rid of any dog who dares to block the way.
After the meeting they are exhausted. She observes him quietly. He sits in the rattan chair and rests his head against its back. Tears come to her eyes. She feels the leaping of time. She remembers the moment when he sat in the same pose contemplating the conquest of China. She is so in love with him that she breathes carefully, fearing to disturb his thoughts.
She quietly goes through the notes of the meeting. The silence in the room delights her. She knows that he is comfortable with her. The way they used to be with each other in Yenan. The contentment, the togetherness.
Let's take a walk in the Summer Palace, he suddenly says and gets up.
She follows him without a word. She notices that he is wearing a pair of new leather shoes. She remembers that he hates new shoes. She asks if he wants to change into cotton sandals.
They don't hurt, he explains. Little Dragon has been my walking-shoe stretcher.
The Hall of Pines used to be a large courtyard of ancient trees. There are archways on its east, west and north sides. Also exquisitely carved pillar stones. The couple walks slowly through the trees. They are now on the central imperial path running parallel to a lake. It is the path on which Emperor Hsien Feng and Empress Tzu Hsi used to stroll. The path is narrow and is shaded by tall cypresses.
She follows his footsteps. After a mile the Glazed Tile Pagoda of Many Treasures comes into view. The pagoda is a seven-story, eight-sided building more than fifty feet high. It is inlaid from top to bottom with glazed bricks of blue, green and yellow. Multiple carvings of Buddha embellish the brickwork. The pagoda rests on a white stone platform and is crowned with a gilded pinnacle.
There is a melodious sound in the wind. Mao looks up. From the top of the pagoda hang bronze bells. She comes to his side. Wiping her damp forehead she praises his good health. He makes no comment and enters the pagoda. He doesn't pause as he passes a stone tablet on which is carved ODE TO THE IMPERIALLY BUILT PAGODA OF MANY TREASURES OF LONGEVITY HILL. The characters are in Chinese, Manchu, Mongolian and Tibetan. He comes to a stop before the statues of the Buddha.
I have come here twice already this month, he suddenly says. I have come to see if I can channel an understanding between the builder of this pagoda and myself.
His voice is low and she can barely hear him. But she says nothing.
He continues. My question is, Why did the man install over nine hundred statues of Buddha on the face of this tiny temple? What motivated him? What kind of madness? Was he panic-stricken? What was chasing him? It is a dangerous spot in which to work. He could fall any time. He might have fallen just so. Why? It seems to me Buddha was his protection—the more he built the better he thought himself protected. He must have been chased by this idea. He must have been breathless in this race with himself.
She suddenly senses that Mao is speaking of himself. About his position in the Politburo. The enemies he faces. He is in fear.
Chairman! she calls. I am with you heading to heaven or hell!
He turns toward her, his eyes filled with gentleness.
She feels that she is recognized the way she used to be recognized thirty years ago in the cave of Yenan. She hears her own voice once again proclaiming love between the dropping of bombs.
In her dedication he once again recognizes himself as a hero. Slowly his gaze diffuses. His voice becomes low. I wish that it was all just in my head. An old fart, paranoid for no reason. I wish that it were just the popping of my teeth I'm upset about. You won't believe that I clapped this morning when I made a smooth shit. A stupid thing, yet it controls my mood. I am losing my sight too, Jiang