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By Root 394 0

but bread and salt bloat me and make me look bigger in pictures (every celebrity knows this trick). I can drop a couple of pounds in forty-eight hours by doing that. And also the spray tan is essential. I don’t do it two or three days before, I do that the day before. That way it’s fresh and has that glow to it. And because my hair is such a nightmare, I have to plan my schedule around my hair. I’ll try to not wash my hair all week and then hopefully get to do it the night before. If I shower the day before, then my hairstylist Jules comes and she’ll brush it out and make it look really clean. I don’t have the time to wash my hair so many times during the week. It’s way too thick to be messed around like that. Then my hair is fresh and clean for the day of, so when they come back it’s easily manageable. Brian Bond is my makeup artist and he and Jules do me at the same time. Listen, when you are watching the Oscars and Ryan Seacrest asks an A-list celebrity how long it took her to get ready or choose the dress, and she responds with, “Oh, I don’t know. I really didn’t have time this year. I just tried on the first thing I saw, showered, and hopped in the limo,” I am the first to scream bullshit. It takes a lot to prepare for an entrance in front of the entire celebrity world. And I’m sure my little five-hour routine is on the low end of the spectrum.

Getting my hair and makeup done is a long process; we try to start about three hours before I need to be ready. Sometimes I have only like five minutes to actually slip the dress on and get out the door because hair and makeup take so long. Getting dressed isn’t even a part of “getting ready” for me. It takes no time to get dressed, so the majority of the time is spent on hair, makeup, tan, and lotion. I have to make sure my skin looks smooth and nice. Lubing up and keeping the skin smooth is a really important part of the process. If you are wearing a dress, sometimes the only part of you that’s showing is some arm, some ankle, and a little cleavage. So they better all be lubed up and glowing!

It takes a lot of time and effort to get celebrity-ready.

I’ve walked out the door pretty much naked while putting my dress on and bam—I’m ready! I’ll just be running out the door with fresh, wet moisturizer on as I’m slipping the dress over my head and running to my car. Usually baby Hank is crawling or running after me with some kind of greasy food or cheesy snack in his hand, and I’m always worried he’s going to leave two toddler handprints on my dress. And, of course, when I’m getting ready, there are burning-hot curling irons on too, so I’m usually freaking out that he’s going to hurt himself. I’m always watching him, making sure he’s not getting into trouble or about to burn himself, but he always wants to do my hair too, so Jules hands him a brush so he can help. It’s so fun!

Then Hank and I will run out to the car (usually fifteen or twenty minutes behind schedule) and we are off.

During a big event I don’t carry much of anything. Hank is my guy and he knows there are three things I don’t go to an event without: a tampon, my lip gloss, and my ID. Those are the three things I need. Nothing else matters, everything else only gets in the way. Hank holds my essentials so I never have to bring a bag. If you are being spontaneous and going to some after-party or dinner, you don’t want to have to worry about a big purse you need to lug around or check with the coat valet. And if you have to leave anything in the car, you don’t want to worry about the driver stealing your stuff. So less is more.

The last thing I do before running out the door is check for underwear lines. I shine different lights on my dress to see if it’s see-through: a halogen, a desk lamp, in front of the bathroom mirror . . . even if it looks good in a certain light I don’t trust it. I have to have different lights to make sure it works under red-carpet lighting. With a lot of red-carpet lighting your dress will be see-through. I make sure to check that. I’m very aware of it so I sometimes wear nipple covers.