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a baby and go dancing all day. My after-work style is early dinner and occasionally a nice glass of wine. That’s why I get along with Brooke so well; we both seem to be past the stage of our lives where clubbing is appealing. She’s so cool, she actually took the time to get to know us. She didn’t say, “Let’s just go out to the club and get drunk.” She said, “Let’s get our husbands together and all go out.” So we met them and had a double date and had great talks about life and the future and kids. We rarely brought up our careers or Hollywood. You really appreciate nice couples like that who are secure in who they are. Brooke is someone I want to get to know better and tell all of my secrets to.

I really don’t have a lot of people like that in my life, who I can open up to and share my secrets with. I just don’t trust anybody because in Hollywood everyone has an agenda. That’s why people like Eddie become so important to me. Eddie is with me every day and he hears me vent the most. If I’m frustrated with work, he’s the one I vent to. Eddie and Hank, they are my go-to people for venting. As a celebrity, my trust level is the lowest it’s ever been. I’m very guarded; that’s why it’s so refreshing to have people like Brooke Burke come into your life.

Yes, I’ve got my friends from home, like Brittany Byars and Savannah Stinson. We don’t talk a lot because of the craziness that has become my life, but those are my real true friends. They knew me before I was ever famous. They know my intentions, they’ve seen my struggle, and they know I’m not a rich, glamorous girl. People like that I will keep in my life forever. They make me feel like that girl in high school I used to be, a normal girl.

And, of course, if you watch my show you know that in recent years Brittany Binger has become one of my best friends. We met at the mansion and we became best friends. She’s the same person as me, but I’m more outgoing. She’s from a small town in Ohio, and she’s so beautiful. She keeps to herself. She can separate Hollywood and who you truly are. Brittany is so pretty you’d think she’d be Miss Hollywood, and she knows how to dress—she wears $15 tops and makes them look like a million dollars. She’s one of the few people I trust in this town as a friend.

It’s hard for me to open myself up to people, because I’m afraid they are going to run and tell the tabloids. I wouldn’t share my deepest darkest secrets with just anyone. So the people I can trust, I put on pedestals: Hank, Eddie, the two Brittanys, and Mykelle. Of course there are a few other people I’m close to but not comfortable enough to really confide my deepest darkest secrets to. Then there are shady people in my life who I have to have around for one reason or another but you will never catch me spilling anything to them.

Hanging out with one of my best friends, Brittany Binger, at a Too $hort concert.

My lack of trust for people doesn’t mean I close myself off to new opportunities. When we lived in Tarzana, we met Mel B and Stefano Langone, who lived across the street from us. They came over and introduced themselves one day and we instantly became friendly. The last time we went out they invited us over to their house, and we played games and downed some wine. They are our game buddies. We get drunk and play couples’ games like Catchphrase—normal couples things! They are fun and young and we love being around people like that. We still want to have crazy sex, we want to talk about sex, and people like Mel B get it. She didn’t even bat an eye when Hank drunkenly told her a story about how he accidentally stuck “it” in my butt once. We all cracked up! Everyone related, and it didn’t feel like TMI at all!

Chapter 13

Wine, Oysters, and Sex in the Backseat

Hank and I rarely get a normal, non-Hollywood date night alone, but when we do we try to make it as romantic as possible. We have a special date spot where we can step away from the spotlight and just be ourselves. It’s a little restaurant called Vibrato hidden in a small shopping area. They play jazz music, it’s very