Being Kendra_ Cribs, Cocktails, and Getting My Sexy Back - Kendra Wilkinson [90]
I know I can’t keep reenacting my life forever. This show will end, and at some point (very soon) we want to have another baby. I think we are done after two—I love the balance that we have now. It’s so easy to be able to hand Hank Jr. off to Dad when I need to, and vice versa. With two kids, that’s just not a possibility. We want to be able to raise our kids and have time to go to the lake and fish. Right now we are planning on two kids and closing the shop. Then again, who knows how I’ll feel after we are a family of four. And, hey, accidents happen—just ask Hank Jr.!
It took a few years and a few battles, both internal and external, but I’m finally comfortable with my life, crazy as it may be. Every day I strive to keep the balance between what baby Hank needs from me as a mom and what Hank needs from me as a wife. But right now, I’m enjoying the busy life—scheduling playdates and photo shoots, filming Hank Jr.’s first words and my workout videos—and I try to savor every moment.
At some point I’m going to have to slow down. I don’t believe you can successfully raise two children while working as hard as Hank and I do, especially if we want to be the ones raising our kids and not leaving it to a group of nannies. I know Hank will finish up his football career one day and he’ll have to figure out what he wants to do. For me, it’s just a matter of if and when I pull the plug on letting the cameras film me. I love to work, but maybe it’s in a different capacity.
I have a lot of interests and I hope to find something that I’m good at after Kendra runs its course. I might enjoy going behind the camera or out in the field and working on something like a cop show. I would like to start a production company. Everything in my life is natural and organic (except my boobs) and I want to keep living life like that and take each opportunity as it comes. Right now my job is being me, my talent is being a wife and mother, and my goals are trying to keep it all in balance.
It’s hard to think about what my life will be like as we get older. But one question I am always asked is “How are you going to explain to your kid what you’ve done in your lifetime?” Yes, after stripping, being Hugh Hefner’s girlfriend, and having a sex tape, I will have to explain to Hank Jr. what Mommy did before he was born, and because she was famous there were consequences. I’m sure a lot of people videotape themselves having sex with someone. It happens. But not everyone becomes famous years later and then has it released. I’m not going to tell Hank Jr. it was a mistake. I don’t believe in mistakes. I’m not going to shove it in his face and say, “Mom dated Hugh Hefner and shared a bed with a lot of different girlfriends,” but I will tell him what was going on in my life at that time. In this day and age, he’s going to find out sooner or later, and I’m not sure if I should bring it up myself or wait for him to ask questions. I’ll just do what I’ve always done and trust my instincts.
These instincts led us to our dream house in Calabasas, now my safe haven in the world. Baby Hank has his own room, and I have my own bathtub, both of which are really important to me. I’ve realized that not being in a stable, secure home was the root of a lot of problems when I was pregnant and just after Hank was born. I didn’t know where I was going or