Believing the Lie - Elizabeth George [10]
For a second time, Kav’s gaze took in the table. He said, “Two places? Did she ring you or something?”
“I rang her.” Ian lowered his glass.
“And what?”
“I asked for another night.”
“And she actually cooperated?”
“For once. Aren’t you having some wine, Kav? I got it in Windermere. That wine shop we were in last— ”
“I had words with bloody old George.” Kav inclined his head in the direction of the road. “He caught me on the way in. He’s complaining about the heating again. He said he’s entitled to central heating. Entitled he said.”
“He’s got plenty of coal. Why’s he not using it if the cottage is too cold?”
“He says he doesn’t want a coal fire. He wants central heating. He says if he doesn’t have it, he’s looking for another situation.”
“When he lived here, he didn’t have central heating, for God’s sake.”
“He had the house itself. I think he saw that as compensation.”
“Well, he’s going to have to learn to cope, and if he can’t do that, he’ll have to find another farm to rent. Anyway, I don’t want to spend this evening talking about George Cowley’s grievances against us. The farm was for sale. We bought it. He didn’t. Full stop.”
“You bought it.”
“A technicality soon to be taken care of, I hope, when there’ll be no I. No yours and mine. No me, no you. Only we.” Ian took up the second glass and carried it to Kav. Kav hesitated for a moment. Then he accepted it. “Jesus God, I want you,” Ian said. And then with a smile, “Want to feel how much?”
“Hmmm. No. Let’s let it build.”
“Bastard.”
“I thought that’s how you like it, Ian.”
“First time you’ve smiled since you walked in the door. Tough day?”
“Not really,” Kav said. “Just a lot of work and not enough help. You?”
“No.” They both drank then, eyes on each other. Kav smiled again. Ian moved toward him. Kav moved away. He tried to make it look as if his attention had been caught by the gleam of cutlery or the low bowl of flowers on the table, but Ian wasn’t deceived. What he thought in reaction was what any man would think when he’s twelve years older than his lover and he’s given up everything to be with him.
At twenty-eight there would be any number of reasons Kaveh could give in explanation of why he wasn’t ready to settle down. Ian wasn’t prepared to hear them, however, because he knew there was only one that served as the truth. This truth was a form of hypocrisy, and the presence of hypocrisy was central to every argument they’d had in the last year.
“Know what today is?” Ian asked, raising his glass again.
Kav nodded but he looked chagrined. “Day we met. I’d forgotten. Too much going on up at Ireleth Hall, I think. But then— ” He indicated the table. Ian knew he meant not only the setup but also the trouble he’d gone to with the dinner. “When I saw this, it came to me. And I feel like a bloody wretch, Ian. I’ve nothing for you.”
“Ah. No matter,” Ian told him. “What I want is right here and it’s yours to give.”
“You’ve already got it, haven’t you?”
“You know what I mean.”
Kaveh walked to the window and flicked the heavy closed curtains open a crack as if to check where the daylight had gone to, but Ian knew that he was trying to work out what it was he wanted to say and the thought that he might want to say what Ian didn’t want to hear caused his head to begin its telltale throbbing and a flash of bright stars to course across his vision. He blinked hard as Kaveh spoke.
“Signing a book in a registry office doesn’t make us any more official than we already are.”
“That’s bollocks,” Ian said. “It makes us more than official. It makes us legal. It gives us standing in the community and, what’s more important, it tells the world— ”
“We don’t need standing. We already have it as individuals.”
“— and what’s more important,” Ian repeated, “it tells the world— ”
“Well that’s just it, isn’t it,” Kaveh said sharply.