Bell for Adano, A - John Hersey [38]
Well, I heard the other day that after the U.S. Army was around these Italian towns for a while there was going to be a pot on every chicken.”
The Captain roared with laughter. Giuseppe, although he had no idea what the point was, laughed politely. The Major was horrified. Tomasino sat in depressed silence, understanding nothing.
Tomasino’s wife came in from the kitchen with a platter of torrone and saved the day. She must have weighed two hundred and fifty pounds. When she put the candy down she raised her two arms, turned to the Major and shouted: “My Godl My Godl” She pronounced it as if it were spelled G-u-d, and all her fatness shook with laughing. Everyone else except Tomasino had to laugh at her.
Giuseppe jumped to his feet and introduced the Major to Tomasino’s wife. Her name was Rosa.
She said in her husky fat lady’s voice: “I am delighted to see you here, Mister Major. That wet stone” -she pointed at Tomasino - “almost refused to go and ask you. I am learning to speak English.” And she shouted again: “My Gud! My Gudl”
“No, fatso,” said Captain Purvis, “it’s Gawd, not Gud. Gawd, Gawd, Gawd.”
“Gud, Gud, Gud,” the old lady said, and heaved in ecstasy.
Captain Purvis said: “Goddamit, where are these pretty mackerel the old fish-hound is supposed to have? Say, Major, we got to make a deal here. Giuseppe here says he thinks I’d like the dark one best.”
Giuseppe put in a word for his loyalty: “I’m a save a blonde for you, boss.”
Major Joppolo really didn’t know what to say. Giuseppe said quickly to the fat Rosa, who was still laughing softly at her triumphs in English: “Where are the girls?”
The mother said: “If you think you can hurry two pretty girls trying to make themselves prettier, you’ll find them in the bedroom.”
Major Joppolo was alarmed to see Giuseppe get up and go into the bedroom. He wondered what kind of girls these were, anyhow.
But in a few moments Giuseppe came back, leading a girl by each hand. He had apparently explained the situation to the girls, because Tina went directly to Major Joppolo, shook his hand, and sat down beside him, and the dark one, Francesca, went straight to Captain Purvis, shook his hand, and sat down by him.
“Mmm,” said Captain Purvis, “not bad.” He felt secure in the certainty that the girls did not speak English. “How’d you like to go to bed, Toots?” he said. “Take it easy,” Major Joppolo said.
“You think I’m too previous?” Captain Purvis said. “Hell, why beat around the bush, Major?”
Tina said in Italian: “I heard you breathing in church last Sunday. You ought to take more exercise, Mister Major.”
Major Joppolo said: “I was late, I was very late. I got working on something, and I lost track of time. I had to run to church. It was very embarrassing.”
Tina said: “You had Father Pensovecchio worried. I could tell by the way he got mixed up in his service.’ Major Joppolo said: “Do you go to church every Sunday?”
Tina said: “Of course.”
Captain Purvis said: “Goddam you and your wop talk, Major. You’ll really make some time. All I can do is make eyes at this piece. “
Giuseppe said: “Capatain, Giuseppe’s a translate. You talk and Giuseppe’s a tell a Francesca what you say.” And so for a time Captain Purvis was engaged in conveying nonsense to Francesca by way of Giuseppe’s uncertain interpretation. The general idea of Captain Purvis’s remarks got across, however, for Francesca blushed more and more frequently.
In the meanwhile Major Joppolo was able to talk with Tina, interrupted only once in a while by bursts of “My Gud!” from the mother and gales of laughter all around the room, except from Tomasino, who stared moodily at the floor.
The Major said: “Do you always go to the Church of San Angelo?”
This time it was Tina who blushed. “No,” she said. “Giuseppe told me you were