Bell for Adano, A - John Hersey [48]
Therefore it was not surprising that on the night when they bought three bottles for three dollars, they began quite early in the evening to tell dirty jokes, then sang some songs, then argued a little, then got restless and decided to go for a walk. Nor was it surprising that the walk was rather noisy. It was really not surprising, either, that when they found that their walk was not taking them anywhere except round and round the same block, they should have decided to go back to their billet. This was not surprising, but it was the thing which got them in trouble.
If they had stayed in their billet and not gone for a walk, they would have been all right. So would they if they had not gone home to their billet so soon, but had walked until their drunkenness dulled their vision and blurred their keenness. But doing what they did got them in trouble.
Here is why:
On the way home, Chuck Schultz said: “Hell of a war.
Polack said: “Smatter, Chuck, you gonna get sick again?”
Chuck said: “Oh, hell no, I feel good. It’s jus’ hell of a war.
Polack said: “Prove it.”
Bill said, for the ninetieth time that night: “Uno due tre quattro cinque.”
Polack said: “Shup, Bill. Prove it’s hell of a war, Chuck.”
Chuck said: “Major.” Polack said: “Major who?”
Chuck said: “You know the fella. Town Hall fella.”
Polack said: “Yeah, I know the one you mean.”
Chuck said: “Joppolo, that’s fellow. Hell of a war.”
Polack said: “What about him? What’s he gotta do with it?”
Bill said: “Cinque cinque cinque Cinque Cinque.”
Chuck said: “He never gets drunk, never, never gets drunk. But he’s good fella.”
Polack said: “Oh, he’s wonderful fella.”
Chuck said: “He’s bes’ goddam fella whole invasion.”
Polack said: “Oh, Gripes, he’s better’n that. He’s perfec’.”
Chuck said: “No, he ain’ perfect. He don’t drink. But he’s good. Oh, he’s good’s hell. These wops, they think he’s Jeez Christ. He’s bes’ goddam thing ever happened to this town.”
Polack said: “What’s ‘at prove? Prove it’s hell of a war. Don’t change a subjec .”
Bill said: “Uno due tre uno due tre.”
Chuck said: “Shut up your goddam counting, Bill. I’ll prove it’s hell of a war. It’s all ‘cause of the Major.”
Polack said: “Goddamit, how’s he prove anything if he don’t drink?”
Chuck said: “Here’s how he proves everything. He’s bes’ goddam thing ever happened to this town, but he’s gonna get his ass kicked. Now is that any kind of a war?”
Polack said: “Who’s gonna kick it? Show me the sonofabitch who’s gonna kick it.”
Chuck said: “General Marvin’s gonna kick it, that’s who.”
Polack said: “Oh, hell, he kicks everybody’s, I don’t see nothin’ special about that.”
Chuck said: “Yeah, but look, Polack, here you got a guy who’s best goddam thing ever happened to this town, I mean he unnerstands these people, and that old fart General Marvin he’s gonna bust him down to Corporal, just like me. Now what the hell kind of a war is that?”
Bill said: “Cinque quattro tre due uno. Backwards. Cinque quattro tre due uno.”
Polack grew suspicious. He said: “How you know? Does the old fart tell you who he’s gonna bust and who he’s not?”
Chuck said: “I seen the paper.” Polack said: “Bustin’ him?”
Chuck said: “No, the paper ‘at’s goin’ to get him busted. Trapani and me, we tried to hide it, but the Cap’n found it. It’s surer’n hell goin’ to get the Major busted when old fart-face sees it.”
Polack said: “Jeez, can you imagine a war like that?”
Chuck said: “Hell of a war.”
Polack said: “Goddamit, Chuck, you proved it to me. Hell of a war.”
Bill said: “I like cinque best. Cinque Cinque Cinque.”
Chuck said: “Rotten dirty stinkin’ unfair lousy war.” Polack said: “Hell of a war, you take and ruin the bes’ goddam man you got.”
Chuck said: “I like that Major, he’s a honest sonofabitch. I don’t want for him to be busted like that.”
Polack said: “I ain’t never seen this Major, but if you say he’s the best goddam Major you ever seen, I’ll take your word for it and I think it’s a unfair sonofabitchin’ war myself for bustin’ him.”
Chuck said: “You know, we ought to do