Belle - Lesley Pearse [88]
Belle was grateful that Martha had given her almost two weeks’ reprieve before throwing her to the lions, for in that time the languid, sensual atmosphere in the house had got to her. Over and over she’d found herself daydreaming of how she had felt when Etienne held her and kissed her, she looked at men appraisingly, and wanted them to want her too. She longed to wear a beautiful silk gown like the other girls, to have Cissie help her dress her hair, and to earn more money too.
It might have been that the atmosphere in the house had soothed the traumas of the past, and indeed made her actually look forward to the day she would become what Martha called ‘a courtesan’. Yet it was taking walks around New Orleans that had made her see she had choices. She didn’t have to think of herself as trapped for ever in a place and an occupation she loathed.
At first all she saw was the colour, music and decadence of New Orleans: one huge party that went on round the clock, seven days a week. It was only when she looked a little closer that she saw it was all about making money. Right from the rich men who owned the ritzy gambling saloons where thousands of dollars changed hands nightly, the madams running exclusive sporting houses, down to the cab drivers who charged just a few cents for a ride, and the musicians in every bar or busking right on the street, money was the hub the whole District revolved on.
But unlike London and New York where it was mainly men who ran the show, here women could have starring roles. They came from all over America and beyond. Many were madams of course, but still more had shops or other businesses – they owned hotels, bars and restaurants. Belle had been told that a big proportion of them had arrived in town flat broke, and used prostitution as a way of getting started, but that impressed her all the more because it proved that with drive and determination anyone could make good.
Belle felt she could do it too. She had the cachet of being English to start with, which was a curiosity here. Without being boastful she could see she was also prettier than most other girls, and she had youth on her side too. But above everything else she was intelligent. She hadn’t really been aware of this back home because she had no one much to compare herself with. Here, she saw daily that she was streets ahead of the other girls in the brains department. As Etienne had said, most were dumb, lazy and greedy.
Both Mog and Annie were keen readers, and they had directed Belle towards books and the better-quality newspapers, but she hadn’t realized that was unusual for a girl of her background. She remembered in the house in Paris that the maids had seemed surprised she read the books left in the room. Etienne had been equally surprised to find her reading. Reading had given her knowledge about so much – history, geography, and different kinds of lives to her own.
None of Martha’s girls read, in fact Belle sensed that they couldn’t, for they would flick through magazines just looking at the pictures. They had very little knowledge or interest in anything beyond the latest fashions and the District gossip. Betty had believed that England was by New York. Anna-Maria thought that Mexico was just beyond the Mississippi. The only thing they all aspired to was love and marriage. They all wanted a husband who would give them a pretty house and children, and though Belle thought that was understandable, she wondered how they thought they were going to achieve it. Surely they knew that few men would want to marry a working whore?
Belle had no ambition to be kept like some little pet. She wanted to be equal to any man. She didn’t know yet how she was going