Ben and Me_ From Temperance to Humility - Cameron Gunn [47]
Deception, sarcasm, digital profanity. Franklin’s virtues abounded.
Frugality Versus Loyalty
Despite coming to the conclusion that this virtue had more to do with the commonwealth than my personal wealth, I decided that my wife’s esteem of me might be served by concentrating on our own Frugality. This would need some focus on expenses larger than tea bags.
If I was going to be frugal, I decided I needed to take things proactively. Saving a dollar here or a dollar there might add up over time, but it was clear to me that if I really wanted to save money, I needed to attack our big expenses. My biggest expense every month is, of course, the mortgage. I say “of course” because it seems Everest-like even to consider being mortgage free, and the thought of those who have scaled this particular summit fill me with wonder and, sadly, envy.
Though the value of my house increases almost weekly in the mini-housing boom we are experiencing in my subdivision, I see no immediate benefit from it. Instead, I watch as a sizable portion of every one of my paychecks slides effortlessly through my hands and right into the greedy paws of the banking industry. So, considering how many coffee and muffin purchases I devote to my housing costs, it strikes me that any effort to minimize these payments is a blow well struck for Frugality.
Of course, if life were that easy, we wouldn’t need bank bailouts. Problem No. 1 was that my mortgage was only at midlife. I was two and a half years into the five-year term, and I knew that any effort to change my mortgage would result in a significant penalty. I know this because I’ve tried it before (which might provide further insight on the whole me versus Frugality struggle).
Problem No. 2 was that I feel immensely uncomfortable anytime I even consider haggling over money. I know people for whom the chance to banter and bargain is akin to sex. I, on the other hand, break out in hives at the thought of financial negotiations. I’d rather give something away than sell it, and if I had to bargain for my salary, I’d be working for free.
This, however, was a week of improvement. This was a week to set aside fear and embrace Frugality. This was a week when I could blame things on Ben. I made an initial call to my bank.
Problem No. 3 turned out to be talking to a real human. Actually, as I listened to the menu of voice mail options, it occurred to me that this might be the one time when I didn’t mind the impersonal touch. Sadly, it’s much easier for me to talk to an unresponsive machine when discussing finances. With some trepidation, I left a message indicating that I was concerned with the rate of interest I was paying, and asked for a payout on my mortgage including any penalty.
There—at least I had made a call. That would be enough to say that I had made an attempt, and now I could crawl back under my financial rock and pretend that I had been virtuous. Apparently, however, my phone message set off minor tremors in the financial industry.
A representative from the bank returned my call, sounding somewhat desperate. An appointment was immediately set up, introductions were made to a new financial adviser, and a closed-door meeting led to a number of proposed next steps. It was an interesting and instructive look into, at the very least, my bank and perhaps the financial services industry as a whole.
I can’t imagine that losing my minuscule business would have caused my massive bank’s stock value to take an immediate tumble. Notwithstanding this, as a result of just one simple inquiry, I was being fawned over. As we bantered back and forth over what was best for my financial health, one of the advisers said, “Don’t