Best Business Practices for Photographers [244]
Chapter 30 Striking a Balance Between Photography and Family: How What You Love to Do Can Coexist with Your Loved Ones if You Just Think a Little About It
There is a verse in the Bible, Matthew 16:26, that translates to, "For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" or "What shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" Now, if you're not a Bible reader, I am certain that there is a similar sentiment in the religious writings that you ascribe to, and if you are not a religious person, understand that this sentiment can, in the end-game analysis, translate to "You can't take it with you." Or, to quote George Strait's "You'll Be There" song, "I ain't never seen a hearse with a luggage rack."
There is an often-quoted yet misleading statistic that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce. This statistic is based at least in part on the statement that "approximately 2,362,000 couples married in 1994, and 1,191,000 couples divorced in 1994," put forth by the National Center for Health Statistics' Annual Summary of Births, Marriages, Divorces, and Deaths. Each year, with some fluctuation, this summary reflects that the number of divorces is half the number of marriages. This would be accurate were the length of marriage one year; however, the National Center reports that, in fact, the median duration of marriage for divorcing couples is 7.2 years and that most divorces occur within the first 10 years of marriage. These rates obviously fluctuate from year to year, but not by much.
As an integral part of divorce for couples with children, for men with children, understand this additional statistic clearly: 72 percent of the time, where custody of children was awarded, it went to the wife. Joint custody occurred only 16 percent of the time, and husbands were awarded custody only 9 percent of the time.
Regardless of what the exact numbers are, photographers have a higher divorce rate than people in almost any other profession. A study by the Missouri School of Journalism, which surveyed 2,100 news professionals in 2000, found the following highlights (or lowlights):
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NOTE
The Missouri School of Journalism report was a survey of television and radio reporters, but it makes salient points that, in my opinion and experience, are valid for photographers as well.
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Two of every five persons surveyed said their jobs had caused marital problems.
At least a third of the problems stemmed from too little quality time with spouses. Survey respondents said odd working hours caused problems in the marriages. One respondent called schedules "tough," reporting, "My wife works 9 to 5, and I work 3 to 11. It doesn't leave a lot of time together." Another respondent said, "Long hours and being called in on my day off is hard for my husband to understand." A male photographer even reported having his honeymoon interrupted by a news emergency.
Some respondents reported missing "quality" time with their families. One respondent reported, "I wish I could be home for family, supper, and bedtime stories."
Job stress is reported as problematic, too. Carrying the job and its stress home can also stress marriage. One respondent stated, "I bring home lots of stress and anxiety. It's difficult to talk about job problems at home because it upsets my husband."
Job devotion is a factor, too. One respondent wrote, "I'm now separated from my second wife, who felt I was more devoted to news than to her. She didn't like the police scanners on in the car, living room, kitchen, and bedroom."
I hope this has made my point. This information above, if not heeded, is likely a harbinger of things to come if you don't focus on family and strike a balance.
When What You Love to Do Must Not Overwhelm Those You Love
It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of an assignment. For those in the news business, it's chasing news, meeting tight deadlines, and accomplishing editor demands. For commercial work, it's easy to lose yourself in the moment, which becomes hours, and when you