Best Friends Forever - Irene S. Levine [110]
Speaking Out: When Candor is Called For (box)
Steps to Save a Dying Friendship (box)
Study,
1Australians
American Sociological Review
Blood pressure
good friendships and better
health
Infants
Liverpool University
Journal of Socio-Economics
Personal Relationships
Phone calls
“small world phenomenon,”
Social isolation
Survey,
10,000 Brits
Chain of Confidence campaign
Child Magazine
Fractured Friendships
Gallup poll, employees with best friends
Taking Advantage of Technology (box)
Taylor, Shelly E.
Tenets of Friendship at Times of Loss (box)
Tipping Point, The
Tips for Making Your Apologies Work (box)
Warning Signs of a Waning Friendship (box)
What Not to Talk About (box)
Zaslow, Jeffrey
READING GROUP GUIDE
Best Friends Forever
Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend
By Irene S. Levine, Ph.D.
Female friendships have their ups and downs—most of them don’t last forever—but we are very fortunate when best friends are a constant in our lives.
ABOUT THIS GUIDE
The questions that follow are offered as possible topics for discussion. We hope they will enhance your reading of Irene S. Levine’s Best Friends Forever and provoke reflection and lively discussion.
ABOUT THE BOOK
Men, jobs, children, personal crises, and irreconcilable social gaps—these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons that may cause a female friendship to end. No matter the cause, the breakup leaves a woman devastated and asking herself difficult questions. Was someone to blame? Is the friendship worth fighting for? How can I prevent this from ever happening again?
Even more upsetting is that women suffering from broken friendships often have no one to confide in—while the loss of a romantic partner garners sympathy among peers, discussing the loss of a platonic friend is often impossible without making other friends jealous or uncomfortable.
Best Friends Forever is the first self-help guide tackling the complex topic of female friendships, including:
• Why Friendships Fall Apart
• How to Get Over Getting Dumped
• Spotting a Toxic Friendship
• How to End a Friendship That Can’t Be Fixed
• Moving Forward with New Friends
Drawing from the literature, her own research, and the personal testimonials of more than 1500 women, Dr. Levine explores the myths of the romanticized notion of “best friends forever,” and contends that most friendships, even the best or close ones, are more fragile than permanent.
QUESTIONS FOR DISCUSSION
• What are some of the qualities that make for a “best friend”? Can a woman have more than one? What types of boundaries should there be between best friends?
• How are women’s friendships different than men’s?
• Thinking back, when were the easiest and most difficult times in your life to make new friends?
• Who is the friend that you have known for the longest time and still consider a close friend? When and how did you meet? What has made the friendship “stick”?
• What are your expectations of your friends on your birthday? Do you communicate your expectations or wait and see if they remember you? How did your family handle birthdays when you were growing up?
• Do you feel like you have to juggle friendship with the rest of your life (family, career, school, etc.)? How do you set priorities?
• Should a woman expect her best friend to provide unconditional support, whatever the circumstances?
• One study from the UK suggests that we keep only one out of 12 friends we make over the course of a lifetime. Thus, everyone has some fractured friendships. Why do so many friendships end?
• Have you ever been betrayed by a female friend? Disappointed? Have you ever been replaced by a “new” best friend? Have you ever had a relationship with a friend that felt suffocating? How can women handle such situations? Can they be avoided?
• Think back about a meaningful friendship that suddenly ended. How did you explain it to the people around you? Were they sympathetic? Were you embarrassed? Why?
• What was the loneliest period