Between Here and Forever - Elizabeth Scott [27]
Beth shakes her head. “I don’t—no offense, Abby, but I didn’t want to see anyone. I just … I was cleaning up her room, putting Tess’s things into boxes to send back here, and I started thinking about her.”
“Wait, send her stuff back? You don’t have to do that. She’s going to need it—”
“I—I have a new roommate, Abby, and I can’t … I can’t keep Tess’s things around.”
“Can’t? Why?”
Beth’s mouth tightens. “Abby, I—I have a life.”
“Oh. Okay. Don’t let me or Tess keep you then,” I say. “When Tess wakes up, I’ll be sure to tell her you decided you couldn’t be her roommate anymore. That’ll be nice to hear, don’t you think?”
“I should go,” Beth says, and stands up, looks down at Tess with her mouth trembling, and then looks at me. “Look, about me and Tess living together. Before the accident, we talked, and Tess said she was going to move out. We—”
“Hey, I thought you might be here. I came early because I wanted to—oh,” Eli says. “I didn’t see—Hi,” he says to Beth. “I was looking for Abby.”
“Hey,” I say at the same time Beth says, “Hi,” and then turns back to me, saying, “You’re bringing guys with you when you visit your sister?”
“He’s here to see her,” I say. “Unlike her so-called friends, who decide to disappear and then show up and announce ‘Oh, hey, I’m getting rid of her things because I don’t feel like waiting for her to move back.’”
“Like I said, before the accident, Tess and I—”
“Um, should I come back later?” Eli asks, and that’s when I see it. Over the sound of Eli’s and Beth’s voices, I see Tess.
I see her eyes moving behind her closed eyelids, like a part of her is listening.
“Tess,” I say, and lean over, grab her hand. “Tess, I saw that. Come on, open your eyes.”
But she doesn’t.
twenty
Beth leaves, slipping away when the nurses are looking at Tess and we’re all waiting outside the room. I should have noticed, but I don’t because I am watching Eli, who is standing with his arms folded across his chest again, looking almost as freaked-out as he did yesterday.
“Do you need to go get a drink or some air or something?” I ask, and that’s when I notice Beth is gone.
“Crap,” I say. I hadn’t been looking at Eli that much. Or so I thought. “Beth couldn’t even stay and say good-bye to Tess?”
“Is that who was with you?”
“Yeah, her roommate,” I say, and notice that under his crossed arms, Eli is tapping the fingers of both hands against his shirt. “You don’t have to stay, you know. I’m sure Tess is going to wake up now, and of course you can come back and see her because I know you’ll want to, but for now—”
“Yeah,” he says. “I’m going—I’ll be in the cafeteria.”
And then he leaves. Or, more accurately, bolts.
I wait for the nurses to come out. When they do, I’ll have to wait for them to call the doctor, and for the doctor to show up, but I have enough money to buy a magazine and I’ll read it while I wait and wait and eventually the doctor will come and tell me how long it’ll be until Tess opens her eyes for good and how long it’ll be until she can sit up. Walk.
Come home.
Unfortunately, none of that happens. The nurses don’t see any change in Tess. I explain about her eyes, and I’m told that “emotional upset’’ can “be stressful for family,” and before I know it, I’m walking out of the unit fast, my stomach churning, my eyes burning.
I open the stairwell door, and then, with a sob rising up out of me, take my bag and throw it as hard as I can down the stairs.
Why isn’t anyone else seeing what I do? Why? I know I’m only seventeen, but that doesn’t make me a liar or stupid or both. I know what I saw.
I wipe my eyes, blinking hard to stop the tears, and head to the cafeteria. Right now, if I go back to Tess’s room, I’m afraid I’ll scream. Or cry. Or both.
I wonder if my parents will hear about what happened. I know they will. What will they think? Will they think I’m a liar? Be disappointed? Both?
My parents have never been disappointed in me, but if Tess doesn’t wake up, if I become all they have, how will they be able to avoid it? How can they not look at