Between Here and Forever - Elizabeth Scott [41]
I wonder why they didn’t mention it, and then remember how icy silent and tense everything was last night. My parents weren’t talking about anything, and they probably assumed Eli had seen Tess and had fallen for her.
That thought hurts more than I want it to.
“No,” Eli says. “I just—I was out here, looking for—seeing if you were here, and I saw them through the doors and figured they had to be your parents. Plus you look like your dad.”
The buzzer sounds, signaling that we can go in and almost drowning out my startled bark of a laugh. “I look like my dad? Are you sure you were looking in the right room? Because Tess has my dad’s hair and his eyes and—”
“Yeah, I’m sure. You both have this—you both have this way of looking at someone like they’re the only person in the world.”
“That doesn’t sound like me.”
“The other night, when you and I were talking, I …” He pauses and I stop, looking at him. My heart is pounding.
“What?” I say, and I want it to come out like I don’t care, like I’m just asking a question, but my voice is hushed. Hopeful.
“I was thinking it’s exactly how you look when you’re talking to Tess,” he says.
My heart sinks—stupid, so stupid, did I think he was going to say he wanted me to look at him that way?—but I nod like I understand.
I don’t, though. First Mom says I act like Dad, and now Eli says I look like him. Or at least can make the same expression.
Does that mean Dad sees Tess like I do? Feels all the things I do? The worry/anger/love?
It’s too freaky to think about, and so I push it away, head into Tess’s room.
“Hey,” I say, plopping into my usual chair. “I’m here. And so is Eli.”
“Hey, Tess,” he says, and looks at me. I pretend I don’t feel his gaze, but I do.
“I … uh, I don’t have any sisters or brothers,” he says. “I used to have a dog, but he had to be put to sleep when I was ten because he had cancer.”
That’s sad—really sad—and when I look at him and say, “I’m sorry,” he smiles.
He smiles and everything—even my toes—goes all trembly.
I clear my throat and look back at Tess. “So, I guess you and Eli have something else in common—he likes dogs too. Remember how you tried to talk Dad into getting you a puppy after you found out about C—well, back when you were in high school?”
“Oh, I don’t want another dog,” Eli says. “After having to see—when Harvey died, I—” He rests his hands against the arms of the chair, fingers tapping. “I can’t get another dog.”
“But maybe one day, you might, right?” I say, pointing at Tess.
“No. I like dogs, but watching someone you love die is—” He clears his throat and looks at me. Really looks at me, straight into my eyes and everything. I force myself to look back and only blow out the breath I’m holding when he glances at Tess.
I force myself to be happy he’s looking at her.
“When you love someone you’ll do anything for them,” Eli says to her. “Right before Harvey died, I slept in the laundry room with him. He wasn’t supposed to go anywhere in the house except my room, and even then it was only during the day, but I didn’t like to think of him all alone. I wanted … I wanted him to get better, just like Abby wants you to.”
He takes a deep breath. “Abby really wants you to wake up. I’ve never seen anybody believe in someone like she believes in you. The nurses all talk about her. How she comes here all the time, how she reads to you. Stuff like that. Supposedly she even yells if someone doesn’t come in fast enough when one of your … well, when something in here starts beeping. You—you’re really lucky, Tess.”
Tess’s eyes don’t move but I’m having to force mine not to. I’m having to force myself to not look at him, to not stare in amazement at what he’s just said.
No one has ever said Tess is lucky to have me. Not ever.
“Oh, now you have to wake up,” I tell her, hearing my voice crack a little and hoping Eli doesn’t. “You’ve got to tell him how I used to try and listen to you and Clai—your friends talking