Between Here and Forever - Elizabeth Scott [47]
“Not possible,” Clement says, and Eli mumbles something, then races off the elevator when it stops again, for once not waiting until I go first.
“Sorry,” he says when I catch up to him. “I—I’m still getting used to the fact that I have a grandfather. Not to mention that I’m living with him.”
“Is it bad?”
“That’s the thing,” Eli says. “He’s … he’s nicer to me than my parents have ever been, and I—I don’t know. It’s strange.”
“Complicated.”
“Yeah,” he says, and smiles at me.
I smile back—I can’t help myself—and start to put in the unit code.
“Hold on,” Eli says.
“What?”
“Look,” he says, pointing, and I do. I see Claire in Tess’s room, moving around, straightening things.
“Oh, it’s just Claire,” I say. “She works here.”
“No, not that. She visits your sister a lot, doesn’t she?”
“Right. Works here, remember?” I say, and punch in the code, pulling the doors open as it buzzes.
Claire leaves as we’re almost at the room, waving at me and raising her eyebrows just enough that I know she’s thinking things about me and Eli. I shake my head at her, and she smiles.
Thankfully, Eli doesn’t seem to notice Claire’s look, and we settle into Tess’s room like we have every other time he’s been here.
“Hey,” I say to her as I sit down. “Me and Eli are here, and you should probably save him from having to answer whatever dumb questions I can think of.”
“Like what?” Eli says.
“Which is better, powder detergent or liquid?” I say, and then stage-whisper to Tess. “See? You’ve got to help me out here.”
“Liquid,” Eli says. “My turn. What’s better, cornflakes or oatmeal?”
“Ugh, neither. I like anything that goes in the toaster and has frosting on it, or better yet, comes with frosting packets.”
“Or waffles,” Eli says. “Clement makes only one thing, waffles. But he’s really good at it.”
I can just see Eli eating waffles now, all sleepy-eyed and dressed in—what would he wear to bed? Boxers?
I mentally shake myself. Tess. Think about Tess. “Tess likes waffles. She and Claire used to make the frozen ones and then put ice cream on them.” I pause, aware that I’ve just said a name I know Tess doesn’t want to hear.
“Sorry,” I whisper to her, and then say, “Eli, what’s your idea of a perfect first date?” Oh … I just. Great. I know my face must be bright red now because it feels like it’s on fire. Why did I ask that?
I know why.
“Not talking about school,” Eli says, smiling.
I look at him, hoping my face isn’t still bright red, and roll my eyes, then nod in Tess’s direction, glancing at her face.
“I actually don’t know what my perfect first date is,” he says after a moment. “What about you?”
“I don’t know either. I’ve never been on a date. Tess used to talk about hers, though. Going out to dinner, going to the movies, stuff like that.” I squeeze Tess’s hand gently and tell her, “I know you miss all that.”
“Favorite food?” Eli asks, and Tess doesn’t move.
“She likes fish sticks,” I say, watching her face closely. Still nothing. “Just kidding. She likes spaghetti and meatballs. She has it every year on her birthday.”
“So you like fish sticks?”
“Yeah,” I mutter. “The best is putting them on a roll with some cheese and mayo and a little lettuce.”
“Really? Fish stick sandwiches?”
“What’s wrong with that?” I say, and look at him again.
He’s watching me, smiling like he likes what he sees, and my whole body, from my head to my feet, feels alive in a way I thought I’d forgotten.
“Nothing,” he says. “I just never thought of eating fish sticks that way. You want to have lunch with me tomorrow?”
“What?” I drop Tess’s hand, I’m so startled, and it makes this soft, sickening sound when it hits the bed, like it’s a thing, like it’s not alive. Like it’s not her.
I look at her again then, wishing I was a better sister, a smarter person, wishing—as I’ve always wished—that I could be like Tess. That I could—and would—always know what to do.
“I said, do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow?” Eli says, his face red. “You can come meet me at school. We’re allowed to bring a guest if we