Between Sisters - Kristin Hannah [144]
“I don't want to give you false hope, Claire, but yeah, maybe.”
“Are you sure?”
“No one is ever sure.”
“I'm not asking anyone else's opinion. I want yours, Joey. Are you telling me I shouldn't give up?”
“Surgery might save you. But there could be bad side effects, Claire. Paralysis. Loss of motor skills. Brain damage.”
At that, she smiled. “Do you know what I was thinking about just before you got here?”
“No.”
“How to tell Ali Kat that Mommy is going to die. I'd take any risk, Joe. Anything so I don't have to kiss Ali good-bye.” Her voice cracked, and he saw the depth of her pain. Her courage amazed him.
“I've sent your films to a friend of mine. If he agrees with my diagnosis, he'll operate.”
“Thank you, Joe,” she said softly, then closed her eyes again.
He could see how tired she was. He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “Bye, Claire.”
He was almost to the door when she said, “Joe?”
He turned. “Yeah?”
She was awake again, barely, and looking at him. “She shouldn't have asked it of you.”
“Who?” he asked, but he knew.
“Diana. I would never ask such a thing of Bobby. I know what it would do to him.”
Joe had no answer to that. It was the same thing Gina always said. He left the room and closed the door behind him. With a sigh, he leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.
She shouldn't have asked it of you.
“Joe?”
He opened his eyes and stumbled away from the wall. Meghann stood a few feet away, staring up at him. Her cheeks and eyes were reddened and moist.
He had a nearly irresistible urge to wipe the residue of tears from her eyes.
She walked toward him. “Tell me you found a way to help her.”
He was afraid to answer. He knew, better that most, the double edge of hope. Nothing hit you harder than the fall from faith. “I've spoken to a colleague at UCLA. If he agrees with me, he'll operate, but—”
Meghann launched herself at him, clung to him. “Thank you.”
“It's risky as hell, Meg. She might not survive the surgery.”
Meghann drew back, blinked her tears away impatiently. “We Sullivan girls would rather go down fighting. Thank you, Joe. And . . . I'm sorry for the things I said to you. I can be a real bitch.”
“The warning comes a little late.”
She smiled, wiped her eyes again. “You should have told me about your wife, you know.”
“In one of our heart-to-heart talks?”
“Yeah. In one of those.”
“It's hardly good between-the-sheets conversation. How do you make love to a woman, then tell her that you killed your wife?”
“You didn't kill her. Cancer killed her. You ended her suffering.”
“And her breathing.”
Meghann looked up at him steadily. “If Claire asked it of me, I'd do it. I'd be willing to go to prison for it, too. I wouldn't let her suffer.”
“Pray to God you never have to find out.” He heard the way his voice broke. Once, he would have been ashamed by such obvious vulnerability; those were the days when he'd believed in himself, when he'd thought he was a demigod at least.
“What do we do now?” she said into the silence that felt suddenly awkward. “For Claire, I mean.” She stepped back from him, put some distance between them.
“We wait to hear from Stu Weissnar. And we pray he agrees with my assessment.”
Joe was at the front door when he heard his name called. He stopped, turned.
Gina stood there. “I hear my brother is acting like a doctor again.”
“All I did was call Stu.”
She came closer, smiling now. “You gave her a chance, Joe.”
“We'll see what Stu says, but yeah. Maybe. I hope so.”
Gina touched his arm. “Diana would be proud of you. So am I.”
“Thanks.”
“Come sit with us in the waiting room. You've been alone long enough. It's time to start your new life.”
“There's something I need to take care of first.”
“Promise me you'll come back.”
“I promise.”
An hour later, he was on the ferry headed to Bainbridge Island. He stood at the railing on the upper deck as the ferry turned into Eagle Harbor. The pretty little bay seemed to welcome him, with all its well-maintained homes and the sailboats clustered at the marina. He was glad to see that it