Beyond Feelings - Vincent Ruggiero [60]
A woman wrote to "Dear Abby," complaining that her son was taking his fiancée's name when they married. Abby replied that the young man was an adult and free to make his own decision, so the mother should accept the situation gracefully. In my opinion, this was terrible advice. When a man caves in to his fiancée's pressure in this way, the marriage gets off to a bad start. Besides, there's something bizarre and unmanly about a man's giving up his family name. His family has a right to expect that he will maintain the family name. It has always been so and should continue to be.
On some campuses, when damages occurs on a dormitory floor and the person responsible is not identified, repair costs are charged to all those who live on the floor. This policy is unjust. Sometimes damage is done by strangers who are visiting the dormitory. And even in cases where the guilty party lives on the floor, it is unfair to charge innocent people, many of whom may not even know when or by whom the damage was done. If college authorities cannot determine who is responsible, no one should b charged.
Group discussion exercise: Select one of the cases you analyzed in application 4 and discuss it with two or three of your classmates. Try to reach a consensus on the issue, but be careful to avoid committing the errors reviewed in this chapter. Be prepared to present your idea(s) to the class.
1 "An Exercise in Educational Flimflam," Parade, May 12, 1974, p.17.
2 "Court Order Blocks Big Inmate Release," The (Oneonta) Star, December 22, 1981, p.12.
3 "Ruling Strikes Down Tax Exempt Status," The (Oneonta) Star, March 27, 1982, p.1.
4 Romans 13.
5 "Tough – But Flawed – Alcohol Tests," Christian Science Monitor, March 3, 1983, p.24.
P2-C15-6
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
KNOWING YOURSELF
Western philosophy virtually began with Socrates' advice, "Know thyself." Ever since, thoughtful men and women have realized that knowing oneself is the key to wisdom. Why is self-knowledge so important? Because so many of the obstacles to clear thinking are found not in the problems we must deal with, but in ourselves.
Of course, innumerable factors contribute to how we feel and think and act. To be complete, any inventory of them would have to include answers to the following questions:
Am I quiet or talkative? Generally optimistic or pessimistic? Hard-working or lazy? Fearful or brave? Serious or easygoing? Modest or proud? Competitive or noncompetitive? Am I nervous or at ease with stranger? Do I retain my poise and presence of mind in emergencies? Am I confident in everything I do? Do I resent certain types of people? (The popular classmate, for example.) Would I be more accurately classified as a leader or a follower?
How trustworthy am I? Can I keep a secret or must I reveal it to at least one or two others? Am I loyal to my friends/ do I ever "use" people? How sensitive am I to the feelings of others/ do I ever purposely hurt others? Am I jealous of anyone? Do I enjoy causing trouble, sowing seeds of suspicion and dissension among people? Do I rush to spread the latest gossip? Do I talk behind friends' backs? Are my comments about others usually favorable or unfavorable? Do I criticize other's real or imagined faults as a means of boosting my own ego? Do I keep my promises? How tolerant am I of people's faults and mistakes?
Am I truthful with other people? With myself? How objective am I in assessing my skills and talents? How intelligent am I? How studious am I in school? How many different roles do I play with other people? Which of those roles are authentic?